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EPISODE 13: The Power of Positive Thinking

July 28, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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DKI Episode 13 – The Power of Positive Thinking

A book written by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale called The Power of Positive Thinking was written years ago. Its message is still true today. I love to listen to it to help me stretch out of the space sometimes I can get into this talk that we have in our heads. What I learned is that we have 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts in a day. It is surprising that 80% of those thoughts are actually truly negative. It is only when we consciously think about the thought that we were able to really shift and reframe the thought into something positive. What is very interesting to me is that 98% of the thoughts that you think today were actually the same thoughts that you had yesterday. It blew me away and it really made me think about things a lot differently.

Positive thinking is not about putting on rose-colored glasses and ignoring the negative events. We hear about bombings and the terrible terrorist attacks going on in the world. Many of the things going on we do not have control over. You and I can think about our own thoughts and what can we can control.

“We are what we think” – Buddha Proverb

Norman Vincent Peale also talks about:

“Change your thoughts and you can change your world.”

“Anybody can do just about anything with himself that he really wants to and makes his mind to do. We are all capable of greater things than we realize.”

“Believe it is possible to solve your problem. Tremendous things happen to the believer. So believe the answer will come and it will come.”

What one should really think about is… where ever you are right now, I want you to think about the negative thoughts that you have been having. The self-talk that you’ve been talking yourself out of doing a thing and you truly want to do.

I am going to tell you why it’s important. What happens when you are positively thinking – impacts your leadership, impacts how you run your business, how you run your organization, and how you chase after that creative idea that you have. Whether you’re inventing something and bringing something to the marketplace, people need your ideas. People need you to step into the leader that you are truly meant to be. What happens when you are positive thinker, not only is this contagious, you can teach people how to choose their words and how they speak because whatever you think is what you are. Right? Refer back to the Buddha Proverb.

Benefits of Positive Thinking

The benefits of positive thinking include:

decrease stress if you are thinking positively, you are not putting that energy into your fears, your worries, or your concerns about something,
you’re able to handle difficult situations with ease because you are looking for a positive outcome,
Decreases conflict because there’s intention to be more forgiving to really understand where a person is coming from. Are they truly trying to be malicious or are they know not self-aware of a situation?
better first impressions- When you are speaking positive and you are excited about your day versus someone who’s got slouched posture saying “Hi, how are you?” (say it in the Eeyore voice from Winnie the Pooh). Do not put that energy out there. You don’t want to be around them. You start to repel is like a magnet. You just want to walk away from that negative energy.
Improved health and vitality – Your thoughts influence your feelings and how you think about things and how you’re going to behave. The actions that you take. You are going to make healthier choices and it alludes to your longevity.
You start seeing problems as true opportunities to be solved. You never know where it going to take you. It is like an open door that you just walk through and it’s going to be, “What can we do this now? What can we do better?
It is always continuing so seeing that momentum and it is also motivating when you are thinking positively. It motivates you as well as the team that works for you.

How to Be a Positive Thinker

Positive thinking can be challenging at first if you have been negative long time but it starts with:

Taking 100% Responsibility One of the most important key factors in determining people’s successes is being able to really take responsibility for your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions that you take and the impact that it has.

Evaluate Your Thoughts I want you really think about your thoughts. Are these thoughts true? Is this something that I totally believe in? Do I know this for sure? Is the intention behind this is real?

Listen to Your Internal Monologue Is this a cycle that you are listening to, is there truth to it? Are you coming from a reactive place? Are you being jealous or envious of another person? That’s when you start discounting your own worth and what you bring to the world. I want you to really catch and take a listen to what you’re saying. Are these thoughts true and are they negative? If they are, reframe them and change them into a positive thought. What you want to be? There is that saying, “act as if” ; you need to show up as who you want to be before you even become it so really thinking about what you saying to yourself.

Get Rid of or Cut the Drama I don’t like drama. One of the things that I’m telling about the drama part is, if something is not broken – with a relationship or you have some negative thoughts about something. Don’t jump in and start accusing somebody of something and getting into petty fights. A lot of the disagreements the people get into are over the little things that really don’t have a lot of significant. If you just open up the conversation, you find out that it’s not as difficult or a conflict as you what you thought it was.

Turn Negative Talk into a Positive Talk what you want to be going on in your life. If you want to generate great stuff, you want to generate more positivity. You need to start yourself by being more positive.

Feed the Positivity Hang out with people who are positive, who generate ideas and brainstorm with you, and give you excitement.

Find the Humor. You can always discover the humor in a situation; although it might not be funny at the time. I’ve been in situations that I sit back and think “This is not funny”. I know I can be steamed and then realized a while back when somebody points out something that you just start laughing because it just seems so surreal that that even happened. It takes you to where you need to be but sometimes we just need to laugh situation and think you know what, one of those small things that it’s not a big deal.

Continually Cultivate Your Positive Outlook Realize that as with anything that we want to be sustainable- it takes time to develop.

Brian Tracy said, “One of the most important leadership qualities is the accepted of personal responsibility. Leaders never complain, never explain, instead of making excuses, they make progress. Whenever they have a setback or difficulty they repeat to themselves:” I am responsible! I am responsible! I am responsible!”

What are you going to take responsibility for when it comes to you and your thinking?

No one can influence the thinking that you have. You choose how you think. We have a 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts coming through our mind at any point in time. You choose what you want to focus on. What you bring to consciousness, whether it be positive or negative, you get to choose.

Take responsibility, really challenge your assumptions, and challenge your thoughts to see if there’s truth in them. Cut out the drama, it is draining. It takes away a lot of your energy. Any thought that’s negative- start shifting into a positive talk. If you start doing this regularly, sometimes what you need to do is write it down. What is that talk and what how do I really want to be? When you start catching these things, you will start shifting how you are behaving, how you are thinking about things, and shifting to more positive thinking. Remember to surround yourself with quotes and sayings, listen to positive relaxing music, and the people you surround yourself with. Make sure that you are surrounding yourself with positive people who are providing a great influence for you. Read great books that add to your positivity. You do not want to be watching the news first thing in the morning or at night to set the tone for your day. Often what you see is negative. Start your day with positive thinking that and influence it either reading the quote or writing in a journal. Writing down what you are grateful for – really starting and ending your day with something positive. Remember to look for the humoring the situations and not to take yourself too seriously.

The power of positive thinking can really shift your life. It changes the way you lead. It changes the way that you develop yourself. What I know for sure is when you are positive thinking, you are in a find solutions and creativity in you everything that you do. You will be able to be more productive and increase your performance not just for yourself but for the people that you work with too.

What are you going to start doing to BE more positive today?

Email me at Debra@debrakasowski.com and let us know what you would like to be featured on the show. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Give us a 5-star rating! Sign up for our Newsletter www.debrakasowski.com

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Time 13:51 min

EPISODE 1: Take 100% Responsibility

June 28, 2016 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Stop Complaining, Making Excuses, and Blaming Others – It is Time to OWN it!!

We will be looking at the situations in life where you want to point fingers at people or you want to say it was not my fault. If you look around you at the choices you have made or some of the outcomes you have had, you need to look around and ask yourself, “What part did I have in this”

I had no control; it happened to me. Take a different approach by asking, “How did it happen FOR you?” What can you learn from this situation so the same situation does not happen again? People do not take enough time to investigate their outcomes.

Begin by asking yourself questions about a situation: What part did I play in this? What could I have done to change the outcome? What could I do differently in the future?

Imagine someone is coming to pick you up for an appointment or you are going somewhere for a specific time. You are watching the clock tick because you know if you do not leave by a certain time you will not make it on time. The person may show up 10 minutes late and you get to the location late. You get frustrated at the person driving you.

Take a step back.

Ask yourself…

What could I have done to achieve a different outcome?

Was I prepared to be out on time?

Could I have called in advance to ensure the person left on time?

Could I check to see if there was any road construction or accidents on their route to be aware of?

Come to the situation as a learner. What parts do I have control of or influence?

Avoid comparing yourself to others. Focus on improving yourself and showing up as your “BEST” self every day.

Often when people compare themselves, they are looking at one moment in time. As an example, someone has a victory – they seem to have all the luck. They have all the money and everything in place to succeed and it does not work out like that for you.

If you rolled out that person’s life and your life, would you be willing to erase all of the memories that you and trade for the other person’s life? If you at it from that perspective, I am sure chances are that you would not want to erase those precious memories.

It is not about competition as it is about playing your own game and showing up as your BEST self every day.

Focus on discovering solutions and look for the opportunities. What can you do about it? How can I make a different? It is not about sitting in the wings and being a wallflower. If you see something that needs to be changed, it’s about letting your voice be known.

Choose to be responsive versus reactive. You will make better decisions when you think before acting. Do you attack like a jaguar or a leopard ready to attack or do you take a step back and collect your thoughts? It is about choosing to be responsive versus being reactive. It takes a lot of emotional intelligence. Otherwise, you are like a bull in a china shop barging in and break everything around you and then you wonder why no one wants to follow you.

When you chose to be responsive your brain is a lot calmer. Your amygdala goes into an irrational mode – fight or flight response. When you are highly emotive and reactive, you are not thinking rationally and you will not make decisions as well. What you want to do is, is to come to a place where you are calm enough to respond, that you thought through what you want to say so you can make better decisions before you act. Not everyone likes to be held accountable but they like to know they are reaching outcomes.

Surround yourself with people who are accountable to for their actions. You become like the people who you surround yourself with. Take a look around you, “Are the people you are hanging out with accountable for their actions?”

You cannot hold others accountable for you cannot hold yourself accountable first.

Be willing to take action on what you want to achieve. Speak up if you need to, make a request, or try something new. Remember if you do what you have always done – you’ll get the same results.

Remember to SIGN UP for our Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 “Surefire Strategies” download.

Time 9.46 min.

How Do Leaders Hold People Accountable Without Micromanaging?

February 9, 2016 by Debra Kasowski 1 Comment

Leadership and management go hand in hand. There are times to lead and there are also times to manage. We need to strike a balance between the two to hold people accountable including ourselves. They complement each other and are often used interchangeably but do mean different things.

Managers are focused on the bottom line and getting results within a short range of time. They want to ensure that policies, processes, procedures are followed. The manager wants to ensure that things are done correctly and stay within the norm. Leaders, on the other hand, want to create a long-term vision for their followers which allows for creativity and innovation. They share intent behind their actions to help people understand their goals as well as the goals of others. A leader focuses on developing the people they work with so they too can lead. The leader encourages the people to ask questions and be curious about information available to them.

Leaders cringe at the thought of being labeled as “a micro-manager”.

Do you know a micro-manager? Are you one?

What is the difference between micromanaging and holding someone accountable for their actions?

Micromanagement and accountability are often misunderstood. Micromanagement is when the manager closely observes or takes control of the work of the people that report to them. They monitor and assess every step of the way. A micro-manager does not ask for input and may hide information to have the upper hand. These individuals do not trust that their people can do the job they were hired for.

Accountability is about the willingness to take responsibility for one’s actions. There is personal accountability as well as team accountability. When the manager shares information that involves facts and figures, they often need to look at how things happened and when. The leader will ask what happened and why. They will encourage their people to ask the tough questions and even challenge them to come up with solutions. When an individual or team takes responsibility for outcomes and results, they can reflect and look for the gaps from where they are to where they want to be. The manager often has to be accountable for the outcomes that their team delivers. A leader will inspire accountability by example.

There are situations in which micromanaging may help improve specific areas of a problem but should never be used as a long-term solution. Micromanaging is a strategy to improve performance and should not be used alone. We often have to take a step back and look at the big picture of what is going on in the system but we also need to take a closer look at the parts that make up the big picture. By doing so, individuals and teams can uncover where improvements can be made. This discovery can help us determine where accountability lies.

You can hold people accountable for their actions and results without micromanaging by asking powerful questions:

What are the expectations? Clearly communicate and set expectations. Set the stage by explaining what is expected of an individual or team. Create a vision in their minds of what they should aim for.
What is accountability when it comes to performance? Openly talk about accountability and performance so it’s not seen as micromanaging.
How do they want to be held accountable? Ask the individuals or a team how they would like to be held accountable for their actions and agree on the process.
What are the results and outcomes? Explain what the outcomes are if a person is not meeting expectations or performing well
Where are the gaps? Share your observations of the gap between expectation and performance.
What do they have to say about it? Ask for input.
Who is best to come up with the solution? Give the individual or team ownership of the problem. Let them come up with a solution.
What questions do they need answers to make informed decisions? Encourage them to ask questions and gather more information about what the facts and figures mean.
What are actions with support the results and outcome we wish to achieve? Focus on results and outcomes and what actions can improve a problem versus focusing on the activities that cause the problem.

Let your people know what your intention is as you work with them. The people you manage and lead are your greatest resource and often will come up with the best solutions. Foster trust by demonstrating to the people you work with that they are capable of creating the results and outcomes shared in the vision. They are owners of the vision. Ask the questions that create accountability and allow the people to make the vision a reality under your leadership.

Leading and managing effectively can be an art. How do you hold people accountable?

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 Magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

Are You Waiting to Be Rescued?

October 12, 2012 by Debra Kasowski 10 Comments

Oprah once said, “One thing I know for sure is that we all want a better life.” We are all trying to get ahead and trying to create that better life but I see and hear so many people weighed down by excuses and expectations that someone else is going to save or rescue them and take them to the life of their dreams. You know what? The life of your dreams needs to be created by you. You can not wait for others to pull through for you and create it for you – THEY ARE NOT YOU! They do not have the same hunger and desire you do for what you want. Honestly, if you want something bad enough you are going to do what it takes to get it.If you want to run your own business, take a course, or even hire a coach, you will find the way to gain the knowledge or raise the funds to have what you want. If you were stranded on a desert island, would you find ways to create a fire to signal someone for help or would you just kick back and suntan hoping someone will notice you are missing? What are the chances you will be rescued in these scenarios?

SOS - Rescue — Image Courtesy of Digital Art/Free Digital Photos

You can create a better life by dropping excuses, quit blaming others for your misfortunes, and skip the complaining – who knows who is even listening. Take 100% responsibility for what you want. You will continue to get the results you are getting because you are not ready to change. You already have what you need to be successful; you need to do things differently. Create a new plan of action and ACT! Action is the only way you will get closer to creating the life of your dreams.

I know you cannot do it all with only 24 hours in a day so there will be some delegation required. When you delegate, ensure you are working with people who support your mission and what to help you reach your target market or audience. Follow up with them to ensure that they are on track or if they have any questions. Remind them of the mission and how they plan an important role of making this happen. Your team is essential to your success.

Don’t wait to be rescued! Create a PLAN and ACT on it!