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EPISODE 118 – Condition Your Mind Every Day
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“Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.” Jack Canfield
Every day we are give a choice whether to allow the negativity in the world to influence our own world’s. You have a choice in what you want to allow in your mind. As a child growing up, we were not allowed to have any type of weapon toys or watch any violent shows. I did not understand why as much then as I do now. What we are exposed to influences they way we think and interact with the world.
The reason why some influences are more memorable than others are because of the emotions we attach to an event. Many people remember exactly what they were doing and where they were when 9/11 happened, JFK was shot, and when Princess Dianna was killed. Why? They emotionally connected what they were feeling. We do not remember all the information and facts that we encounter as they are not as significant to us. If you want to make things positive and memorable, you need to assign those feeling to the event. But, how do you filter out all the negativity?
You need to condition your mind every day:
Pay Attention to the Words You Use and Reframe if Necessary. You may have to drop some words from your vocabulary like “can’t” or “try”. When it comes to the word “can’t”, it means you won’t or you choose not to. As in the wise words of Yoda from Star Wars, “Do or Do not! There is no try.” When you try something, you are making an attempt without full effort. Start saying, “I am in progress of…” By simply shifting the words you use, you create possibilities! You are capable of much more than you give yourself credit for.
Empower Yourself with Uplifting Stories. Feed your mind with positivity. When you hear of stories of ordinary people doing extraordinary things, you are granted permission to dream bigger than ever before. If someone has done something that you want to do, it means you can do because it has been done! Read books and watch movies or television shows that inspire you.
Surround Yourself with People Who Make You Feel Better. These people are the ones who encourage you and support those crazy dreams. They often challenge you to become a better version of yourself and to stretch out of your comfort zone. You want to be around people who are not judging you for going after your dreams. You want them to be inspired by you and you by them to push a little bit harder!
Choose to Focus on Service. Whenever you catch yourself feeling sorry for yourself, start focusing on the needs of others. When you support others in reaching their goals, you feel good because you are not focused on lack or scarcity. Remember that your thoughts and feelings influence the actions you take and ultimately the results you are getting.
Let Go of the Past to Enjoy the Present and Step into the Future. When you are hung up on negative events from the past, you can be sabotaging the present moment and how your future unfolds. We often hang onto those stories because of how we felt in the moment even if it no longer serves us. I am not saying you must forget what happened. You can forgive or choose to no longer let it influence your life. Rewrite your story. How do you wish it occurred? Can you share your story from a positive perspective? What lessons did you learn? What went right? What did not go so well that you would rather forget?
Keep track of your WINS and SUCCESSES. No matter how big or small, it is important to keep track of our accomplishments to see if we are meeting our goals or o the right track to meeting our goals. Seeing these milestones builds momentum and motivates us to keep going and taking note of how far we have come!
Take Note of All You Have to Be Grateful For. The more grateful you are for what you have, the more you will have to be grateful for. Not sure of what to be grateful for, start with your beating heart, your lungs that enable you to breathe, or the blood that flows and provides oxygen to your body. There is much to be grateful for and many things that get taken for granted.
Make each of these conditioning exercises a part of your daily discipline and watch what happens. I would not be surprised if you take bolder actions, start speaking to your success, learn and grow, develop new ideas, and celebrate your wins. Chances are you will lead a happier and more fulfilling life. Who doesn’t what that?
“I truly believe in positive synergy, that your positive mindset gives you a more hopeful outlook, and belief that you can do something great means you will do something great.”
Russell Wilson
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DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Episode 98 -The Power of Positivity with Jon Gordon
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Meet Our Guest:
Jon Gordon’s best-selling books and talks have inspired readers and audiences around the world. His principles have been put to the test by numerous NFL, NBA, MLB coaches and teams, Fortune 500 companies, school districts, hospitals and non-profits. He is the author of numerous best-selling books including The Energy Bus, The Carpenter, Training Camp, The Seed, You Win in the Locker Room First and The Power of Positive Leadership. Jon and his tips have been featured on The Today Show, CNN, CNBC, The Golf Channel, Fox and Friends and in numerous magazines and newspapers. His clients include The Los Angeles Dodgers, The Atlanta Falcons, Campbell Soup, Dell, Publix, Southwest Airlines, LA Clippers, Miami Heat, Pittsburgh Pirates, BB&T Bank, Clemson Football, Northwestern Mutual, Bayer, West Point Academy and more.
Jon is a graduate of Cornell University and holds a Masters in Teaching from Emory University. He and his training/consulting company are passionate about developing positive leaders, organizations and teams.
3 Reasons to Challenge the Resistors of Change
Change is a constant; it represents progress and forward momentum. Change keeps ideas fresh, innovative and creative. Change brings life.
One of the most challenging things I’ve faced as a positive change agent is people who are resistant to change. There are individuals who challenge any new idea or concept. In my work with Appreciative Inquiry, I have noticed that people with positive mindset will look forward to positive change, whereas those with a negative mindset or doubtful mindset will look for all the reasons why something won’t work. The latter group of individuals can’t seem to try something new or accept an approach unless they test it themselves. A common statement from these individuals is, “It is all great in theory.” This statement used to bother me; however, I have learned that this is one person’s perspective. It is important for me to understand the merits of their perspective and seeing how I may challenge their assumptions that may be preventing them from moving forward with positive change.
Here are three reasons why it’s important to challenge those resisters:
- People often get attached to the old way of doing things. Some people are threatened by new approaches and are concerned about how this change may affect them. As the facilitator of positive change, it is important for you to help these individuals acknowledge the old ways of doing things and also demonstrate how they can implement new ways which can improve their current reality.
- Some people need to see proof. Kendra Cherry, a psychology expert, wrote a fantastic article on about.com entitled “What is a Theory?” that challenges the statement “It is all great in theory.” She states, “A theory is a based upon a hypothesis and backed by evidence. A theory presents a concept or idea that is testable. In science, a theory is not merely a guess. A theory is a fact-based framework for describing a phenomenon. In psychology, theories are used to provide a model for understanding human thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.” Imagine if Thomas Edison stopped testing his theory of the light bulb; where would we be today? Theories need to be repeatedly tested in order to be considered principles to help explain the results or outcomes achieved.
Perhaps, it is the microwave mentality; people don’t believe in the concept unless they see immediate proof. However, some outcomes may be quick wins, whereas other outcomes need to develop over time. Actions need to be taken to implement the ideas brought forward.
Appreciative Inquiry is a road map of an ongoing process supporting positive change. This concept or approach has been tested and proven for over 30 years and has helped improve the businesses and organizations globally.
- Some people think they have tried something similar before and it will not work. It is important to emphasize that just because you have tried something similar before does not mean it will not work. You are not the same person you were when the last attempt was. Chances are the ideas were shelved from the last attempt. Let’s say the attempt was a year ago. The people of the organization and where the organization is, is not the same as a year ago. It is my hope that the people were developing themselves both personally and professionally. They have more confidence and competence because they have faced conflict, gained new knowledge, and lived through new experiences. The people or the culture of the organization may have changed too. The ideas presented way back when may have been before there time, therefore, it is definitely worth trying again. Who knows – it might be you who facilitates a major breakthrough.
What one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned that it is sometimes we just need to trust the process and let the theories unfold into results. There is an element of uncertainty and it is okay. Not everyone is okay with uncertainty, therefore, results are key. Positive change does not occur without positive action steps toward what you really want to see. Even though, you may have to adjust your actions along the way the results that you get may be better than you ever imagined. When you feel yourself resisting, step out of your comfort zone and challenge your resistance to change. It may be your greatest breakthrough.
The Mindset that Will Cost You Your Dreams
There is one mindset that can cost you your dreams if you give it space. It sneaks up on you and can infiltrate your mind if you let it. You can create it with your imagination and take it anywhere you want. It sabotages any success you may have been achieving.
Can you guess what it is?
It is the “victim” mindset.
The victim mindset develops from comparing yourself to others and feeling that you are not enough. All you see is how great their life is, but you are part of their life 100% of the time.
You look at past setbacks and see your self as a complete failure without looking for the lessons. Therefore, you may even repeat the same mistakes. Maybe you didn’t learn it for the first time so history repeated itself.
Go easy on yourself. We are so quick to criticize ourselves but my guess is that you would not be so hard on your best friend. Maybe you need to be a best friend to yourself. Be a little kinder to yourself – it may even ripple into the rest of your world.
The victim mindset can steal your joy and your happiness. It can destroy friendships.
The people who you are inspired by should not be people you compare yourself to. They are people you should aspire to be like knowing that you too can do the same. There is a proven track record to be won.
I encourage you to strive for your personal best as this is really the only race worth running or fighting for. Every person has their own lane – it can be fast or slow you choose by the choices you make.
I love to inspire others but motivation comes from within. I want to see people rise above the chaos and past hurts. I want people to raise the bar just a bit higher than last year knowing that they can do it – because they are worth it and can achieve it.
I have been there but what I have learned is that you have control over how long you stay in that place. What you focus and bring your attention to, you get more of. So have the “pity party” or the Eeyore moments and let it go! Shift gears – there is so much more for you to accomplish. The victim mindset will just slow you down. Don’t let it. A positive mindset will take you places bigger than your dreams as long as you take action and put in the effort.
Whether you are a professional, executive or entrepreneur, your mindset needs to be “game on”. You do not have the time or luxury for negative self-talk. Talk back to it and put it in its place. Learn from your lessons – that is what life is about. You are here to make an impact. You are here as Gandhi eloquently said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Why? Cause you and your dreams are worth it! You are the one and only – give your best!
Be victorious!
Go ahead and share how your shift your thinking into a positive state of mind!