Debra Kasowski

How to Become an Effective Leader by Building Resiliency

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You don’t have to go far to learn about some of the challenges people are facing in their businesses and organizations. You just have to turn on the news or look around you. There appears to be a great strain on society today being so busy that they are unable to find equilibrium. People are asked to do more with less. People look busy running from one activity to the next but are they productive? Are they meeting their deadlines or quotas?

The one constant in everyone’s life is change. We are all faced with changes and challenges on a day-to-day basis. One of the greatest challenges that leaders within organizations face is being able to keep up with their workloads while putting out fires that seem to arise. They are taken away from some of their critical work to focus intently on performance issues. Managing people and working with people can sometimes be draining especially when you’re faced with resistance and lack of awareness. Sometimes it feels like no matter how much effort you put into something that you are unable to achieve what you hope to. At times this can be disheartening for a leader to lead because they may lose sight of their focus and the meaning of the work that they were driven to do. Don’t give in and don’t give up! Adapt!

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Effective leaders become resilient through self-reflection and an increased self-awareness. Not only are the intellectual but they are emotionally intelligent. Resilience is the characteristic of being able to bounce back in the face of loss or failure. A resilient leader does not play victim to their circumstance. They shift into the mindset of a learner and so can you.

Everything is not in your control so don’t take things personally. Sometimes things in life occur that we do not expect and planning and preparation could not prevent them from occurring. Know that many things occur that are not in your control and it’s not your fault. You can only take ownership of things that you can do something about.

Resilient leaders know that it’s important to continue developing personally and professionally in order to embrace change and challenges. When people face a crisis or cutbacks, one of the first areas that seem to be eliminated is that of personal and professional development. This is a grave mistake as when people are learning and growing they are inspired and can cultivate new ideas and solutions to the challenges that they face. Never stop learning!

A resilient leader knows that it’s imperative to celebrate success even in the midst of a challenge. There is an opportunity to learn from success just as much as failure. Examine steps, processes, and strategies that help you develop success; they can be your greatest tools in helping you navigate some of your roadblocks.

Many of the greatest leaders have demonstrated that it’s important to take the time to recharge and rejuvenate in order to become a resilient leader in bounce back from trying situations. Meditation, prayer, and journaling are just some of the rituals that some of these leaders use to gain clarity on some of the significant situations that they face and eliminate the distractions from seeing clearly. Other leaders enjoy going for a walk in nature or a run to clear their mind.

Resilient leaders know that it is important to focus on the type of climate they want to create. They imagine the possibilities and articulate a new vision for the future. They pay attention to the words they use and ensure that they are creating a positive future – a future that taps into the strengths of the people who follow them. They know that open communication is the key to leading the way.

An effective leader knows that they do not have all the answers to every situation that they have the ability to tap into the strengths, opinions, and best experiences of their people. They draw on these perspectives and engage their people in coming up with new ideas in helping provide a solution to the challenges they face. By engaging their people, they know that the people will be intrinsically motivated to move toward a shared vision.

The resilient leader is someone who has been able to develop the skill of managing their own emotions and recover quickly. There are many characteristics and styles of leadership; however, emotional intelligence is a skill that is a must in building resilience.

“Shift your attention, and your emotion shifts. Shift your emotion, and your attention shifts.”
― Frederick Dodson

Optimism helps effective leaders maintain focus on their vision even when faced with setbacks. They choose to look for “what is good or right” about a situation. They know that wherever your intention goes your attention follows. They look on the bright side of every situation looking for the opportunity to learn and grow so that they may become more effective.

Leaders know that it’s important to build and nurture a network of relationships before you need them. When you are in crisis or faced with the challenge, you need to have that support immediately and if you don’t have it is more challenging to get through the tough times. When you build relationships, people are quick to reciprocate and support each other lessening the challenges.

Bouncing back to become the leader you want to be involves remembering your “WHY”. Why do you do the work that you do? Rediscover and connect with what she once was passionate about. See the importance in the work that you do. Your efforts do not go unnoticed although at the time it sometimes feels like it. Know that you are making an impact in this world even if you don’t receive immediate feedback. There will be a tipping point in which your efforts will have compounded and made the biggest difference. Bounce back and be strong – people are looking for a leader like you.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

How to Shift Out of Negative Thinking to Positive Thinking

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Everyone has their own story of how their day went. What you see and how you think all depends on what you focus on. A positive thinker, the optimist, will share their story with excitement ensuring they don’t miss out on the details. They are hopeful and anticipate that good things will happen in the future. Whereas the negative thinker, the pessimist has a tendency to see the worst aspects of things and believe that the worst will happen. They lack hope and confidence in the future. They see positive results a just flukes. Do you know anyone with these qualities? Which one are you?

Knowing the Difference

The negative thinker is often exhausted, depressed, moody, irritable, and easily frustrated. Little things increase their stress level. Some negative thinkers are prone to overeating as they use food to comfort them. Positive thinkers tend to be healthier, more successful, and happy and fulfilled.

What is your reaction when an unexpected event occurs? Do you focus on the negative ignoring the positive? Do you look for the imperfections? Are you jumping to conclusions or trying to read someone’s mind? Do you take things personally regardless if it’s one person’s opinion? Chances are you are a pessimist or negative thinker if you have said yes to these questions.

Your self-talk is that internal dialogue that runs through your head that continuously interprets, judging, analyzes, and explains situations. This self-talk has a tendency to make negative statements, judgments, and assumptions. Often what is believed can be completely off track and easily blown out of proportion. When you are stressed out, you cannot think rationally and make good decisions. Your thoughts and feelings impact your behaviors and actions. Negative thoughts lead to negative outcomes. Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes.

In order to start getting the outcomes that you want, you need to shift your thinking to a more positive outlook. By doing so, you will decrease your stress level and you will be able to handle such a situation objectively and with ease. You can feel energized and hopeful for your future. Remember your thoughts are just thoughts they are not facts. 13038476_l

Let’s say you made a mistake. A pessimist is quick to look for fault or blame themselves for any shortcomings. They see situations as permanent and almost impossible to get out of. The optimist believes that they are responsible for their results and view as a mistake as a learning opportunity to move forward. They see setbacks as temporary and with this new knowledge they will advance further. Optimists are better at finding solutions to problems that arise.

A Choice

At one time or another, you may have caught yourself thinking negatively. Most people are able to shift their thinking to a more positive outlook without blanketing one situation as impacting the rest of their lives. Some people feel that their childhood upbringing is responsible for their outcomes of their adulthood. However, if you truly think about it, your youth could be considered as the age of less than 21 years. I’m not discounting that some people have led challenging lives with neglect, abandonment, anxiety, abuse, or depression. What I am saying is that: Each person has a choice each day to choose their thoughts and how they feel to direct their actions and behavior. This choice is power – the power to live a life that you choose to live.

What will you choose?

“Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions.” – Dallin H. Oaks

Shift Your Thinking

What dialogue will are having right now about a situation or event? What emotions are coming up for you?

Ask yourself questions to challenge your thoughts because you could be wrong:

Is the thought that you’re having helpful or unhelpful?

What do you believe to be true?

Is there any evidence to disprove your thought?

What would you say to a friend or colleague in a similar situation?

What are the costs and benefits of you thinking in this way?

What other ways to look at this situation?

What thoughts do you wish to have instead?

What action(s)will you take to support your positive outlook?

Your thoughts are like magnets. If you are thinking positively, you will look for evidence that positively supports your belief. If you are thinking negatively, you will look for the negative that supports that belief. Start looking for the good – build on the small success. Every situation can be seen from a positive or negative perspective. You have the opportunity to make a choice that could change her life. How will you describe your story or your day?

You get what you focus on. – Anthony Robbins

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has the heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 Magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

The Mindset that Will Cost You Your Dreams

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ID-10089448There is one mindset that can cost you your dreams if you give it space. It sneaks up on you and can infiltrate your mind if you let it. You can create it with your imagination and take it anywhere you want. It sabotages any success you may have been achieving.

Can you guess what it is?

It is the “victim” mindset.

The victim mindset develops from comparing yourself to others and feeling that you are not enough. All you see is how great their life is, but you are part of their life 100% of the time.

You look at past setbacks and see your self as a complete failure without looking for the lessons. Therefore, you may even repeat the same mistakes. Maybe you didn’t learn it for the first time so history repeated itself.

Go easy on yourself. We are so quick to criticize ourselves but my guess is that you would not be so hard on your best friend. Maybe you need to be a best friend to yourself. Be a little kinder to yourself – it may even ripple into the rest of your world.

The victim mindset can steal your joy and your happiness. It can destroy friendships.

The people who you are inspired by should not be people you compare yourself to. They are people you should aspire to be like knowing that you too can do the same. There is a proven track record to be won.

I encourage you to strive for your personal best as this is really the only race worth running or fighting for. Every person has their own lane – it can be fast or slow you choose by the choices you make.

I love to inspire others but motivation comes from within. I want to see people rise above the chaos and past hurts. I want people to raise the bar just a bit higher than last year knowing that they can do it – because they are worth it and can achieve it.

I have been there but what I have learned is that you have control over how long you stay in that place. What you focus and bring your attention to, you get more of. So have the “pity party” or the Eeyore moments and let it go! Shift gears – there is so much more for you to accomplish. The victim mindset will just slow you down. Don’t let it. A positive mindset will take you places bigger than your dreams as long as you take action and put in the effort.21149028_l

Whether you are a professional, executive or entrepreneur, your mindset needs to be “game on”. You do not have the time or luxury for negative self-talk. Talk back to it and put it in its place. Learn from your lessons – that is what life is about. You are here to make an impact. You are here as Gandhi eloquently said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Why? Cause you and your dreams are worth it! You are the one and only – give your best!

Be victorious!

Go ahead and share how your shift your thinking into a positive state of mind!