Debra Kasowski

Do You Know The Difference Between Change and Transition?

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“Change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events but rather the inner reorientation or self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture. Unless transition happens, the change won’t work.”

William Bridges

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, “change” is “to make different in some particular (alter); to make radically different”. You can rearrange the furniture. You can repaint a room. Change the clothing you are wearing. The change you experience is visual. Change is also defined as “to undergo a transformation, transition, or substitution”. To transition, requires you to switch gears, think differently which leads you to feel differently impacting your actions and the results/outcomes you receive.

As a change management practitioner, it is of key importance for people to become aware and understand the need for change and how it impacts them before there is a desire to be part of the change. People become confident with change when they have the knowledge and ability to navigate it. What creates the “sticking” power of change? The “sticking” power of change comes from the ability to reinforce the changes made by putting in strategies or measures to maintain the changes.

Whether it be moving from the office to work from home or from home to going back to the office, mindset matters. There is a psychological change or shift that must occur. New expectations, new ways of going about your day, new habits and routines that need to be put in place to adjust to a new “norm”. Resistance to change is understandable; it’s uncomfortable. It’s new. With every change or decision, the world around you will adjust.

Recently, my son moved out of the home to go to University. A big transition, for him, myself, and my whole family. I cannot tell you tears were not shed. There is a change in geography. The transition to being an independent young adult and what that meant for me as a mother is one of pride and one that requires re-orientation – defining myself in a new way. A way that allows my son to expand into who he needs to be and who I also need to be.

We can ask ourselves – “Do we want to choose to fear the change or transition or is there a way we can embrace it?”

It’s about being able to shift gears and finding a new meaning we give to the transition.

5 REASONS NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FAIL

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As the clock ticks, getting ready to bring in the New Year, you may be reflecting and thinking about who you want to be, what you what to do, or what you want to have in the new year.

New Year. New Goals. New You.

You may have identified habits that are not serving you. You may have decided you want to do more travelling or enter a race. Perhaps you decided you want to clear off the debt hanging over your head. Many resolutions people make are related to changing something. Change can be uncomfortable. You may feel like you are losing something or sacrificing something you really enjoy. You may have looked back at the past year and thought it was amazing. You may have kicked yourself thinking the resolutions you made did not get past the third week of January like most people who proclaim resolutions.

There are many reasons you may not have been successful in the past and what you can do about moving forward:

Lack Clarity for What You Want

You know you want something to change but you have not pinpointed what that change is exactly. You may feel paralyzed or confused not knowing what your next step should be. A confused mind cannot make a decision. What do you want and why do you want it? Ask yourself questions to gain clarity.

What do I want to feel most proud of at the end of the year?

What are the specific areas of my life I would like to enhance or change?

What is one thing I can do in the next 3 months that would set me up for the greatest success for the next 12 months?

When you know what you want, you can make choices that align with getting what you want. You will be intentional with your actions.

Not Ready to Change

You may be one of those people who blurt out the New Year’s Resolution thinking this is what other people want you to do so maybe that’s what you say you will do. Deep down you know you are not ready to change. You do not see your weight, your habits, your spending, or your time management as a problem. You enjoy food, the cigarette, the clutter, the gambling, retail therapy, or video games too much. It makes you feel good, there is a sense of comfort, so you do not see an issue. Perhaps the change requires too much effort and you tell yourself you are satisfied – but you are deciding to settle instead.

What do you enjoy most about _________________________?

No Tracking of Progress

Did you make a change this past year? Was it successful? Did you track your activity? Many people say that they made changes and took action. The action they took was random. They did not measure or have any milestone markers to see if their actions made a difference. Remember what gets measured gets managed. You can use simple tools like a blank calendar, a sticker chart, habit tracker, thermometer, or a colouring chart to create a visual tracking of your progress. You can identify gaps and areas for re-adjustment when you track progress.

Overwhelmed with What Needs to Get Done

The enthusiasm and excitement of the New Year may have led you to set too many goals and unrealistic time frames. It is great to be all in! You want to set yourself up for success. Choose 1-3 goals larger goals for the year and 1-3 smaller goals per quarter. You want your goals to be manageable. Break down the goal into smaller goals – one month, 2 weeks, and daily activities. You will not be overwhelmed when you focus on what you need to do in the present. All your actions will compound leading to achieving the big goal you set for yourself.

You Do Not Have a Plan

No goal is achieved without a plan. An end desire in mind.  It is great to cut out picture and design your vision board. A vision board is not meant to be a beautiful collage of picture on the wall. Your vision board is a visual of all you want to be, do, and have in your life. It is a tool that requires action. What qualities do you want to possess? What do you want to be doing? What experiences do you want to have? What do you want to own?

Now, to get what you want…

You must do what you may not have done in the past.

WARNING: You may stretch out of your comfort zone – and chances are you will like the results you get.

You want to start off by reverse engineering what it takes to make the plan a reality. Focus on the result. What actions are necessary to get you to the desired result? Start by blocking off the activity in your calendar. Be consistent. When you do one action every day toward your goals, you are much closer than if you took 5 random actions in a month. Make a plan. Work the plan.

Resolutions fail, goals prevail! Set goals. Ink out your SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely) goals. Make an action plan to achieve them. Next year when the clock strikes midnight, you will be celebrating a year well designed and a year well lived.

Debra Kasowski

Debra Kasowski, the charismatic host of the thought-provoking
podcast, The Millionaire Woman Show, is committed to
enriching the leadership potential of her countless clients,
essentially guiding them to go within to capitalize on their true
personal power, so they can achieve the measurable success
they desire in business, and in life.
After graduating with distinction, having earned a Bachelor of
Science in Nursing, this award winning, three-time international
bestselling author, speaker and Certified Executive Coach spent
many years as a clinical manager exceling in leadership
development, before founding Debra Kasowski International, a
world-class training and consulting venture focused on helping
aspiring business owners and solopreneurs develop the winning
“success habits” that transform human potential into sustainable
profits.
Clearly, if you’re motivated to move beyond the mediocre,
inspired to forge on to the forefront with a proven plan of action,
there’s no doubt that the indomitable Debra Kasowski is your solution.www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 178 – Overcoming Resistance to Change

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“Most of us have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands resistance.” Steven Pressfield

The thought of change is uncomfortable for many people. Change represents uncertainty. People are concerned about how a change will impact them. There is an underlying fear that the change will be “bad”. Is it natural for you to resist change? Resistance can make perfect sense for some people. They feel resistance is that “gut check” that maybe things are not as good as they appear. It is a matter of perception. The funny thing is…

People tend to resist change even when it is beneficial to them. Why? We are creatures of habit. We will do what makes us feel good and secure rather than what might be best for us. Change requires conscious action which means EFFORT. Is it that you may need to put in some work?

There are many reasons why YOU may be resisting change:

  • Lack understanding or lack of clarity about the need for change
  • Fear of the unknown
  • Fear of Failure or What Others Will Say
  • Lack Competence
  • Not competent
  • Low Trust – Change is not managed competently.
  • Temporary – “just a fad”
  • Not consulted for your opinion or expertise
  • Poor Communication
  • Exhaustion – Overworked
  • Change in Status Quo
  • Change in Routine
  • Benefits/rewards are not seen

Are you resisting change right now? Do any of these relate to you?

If you are helping people overcome resistance to change, do the following:

  • Be Clear on What Change is Taking Place
  • Align with Your Goals
  • Determine the Impact of the Change and Resisting the Change
  • Set a Communication Strategy – it is better to overcommunicate versus under communicate
  • Provide Effective Training (if required)
  • Identify and Share Your Support Structure or Resources
  • Measure and Adjust as You Move Through Change

Change is important and a necessary part of life. It represents progress and growth. Change brings new possibilities and problems.

The opposite of “change” is acceptance. The beauty of life is that it is unpredictable and uncertain. One thing I know for sure is that everything is temporary and nothing is permanent. Everything changes. We need to learn to accept things as they happen and only focus on what is in our control. Do not judge. As soon as you start to judge, you lose out on opportunity.

Acceptance does not mean you are conforming and saying, “It is what it is.” Or settling for average. You can choose to let go of things that are not in your control. There are many times in our lives we think things should be a certain way and they are not. You can fail to accept reality or you can fight it. You cannot change situations by fighting them.

Carl Jung once said, “What you resist, persists.”

Several years ago, I remember my boss telling me I needed to get more experience with managing people. It was not about building and nurturing relationships as it was dealing with and managing conflict. No sooner that the day after I inked a SMART goal did conflict come fast and furious – 3 incidents in fact. They were uncomfortable I wanted to avoid them. However, I knew I needed to face them head on, otherwise, the heat of the emotions would get high. Sometimes you may not understand change, ask questions and be curious about the impact on you, your situation, or environment. Learn what you can about the emotions involved, Any resistance faced with help you understand why some people get further ahead than others, Stubbornness can cause missed opportunities!

What are you resisting in your life right now?

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 159 – Accountability Can Change Your Life

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[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LfR0gkF3r8[/embedyt]

Look at the different areas of your life…do you like what you see? Are you doing what you thought you would be? At this stage of your life, do you have what you thought you would have? Are you showing up as the person you want to be? If people were to describe you, what would they say? Are you driven with purpose each day? If you said, “No” to many of these questions, you are not alone.

There was a time when I thought, “If I work hard, someone will discover me.” OR “Maybe, I will meet my knight in shining armour and he will give me the life I always dreamed of.” I am sure God and the Universe had a good laugh. What I learned was that if something was to be, it was going to be up to me! I could get trapped in a victim mentality believing that if these things did not come to pass, it was someone else’s fault or I had something to complain about. Perhaps you have suffered from victim mentality at one time or another. What you may have learned is not too many people want to hang out with someone who is complaining or having a pity party. You do not gain anything – you only feel worse.

Accountability is not about pointing fingers or finding someone to blame. To be accountable, you are accounting for your behaviour and actions. There may be times you are following up with someone to ensure they have completed a task or request – holding others accountable. It is easier to do that than hold ourselves accountable, especially if things are not going as planned.

By taking ownership or how I like to call it, “OWN YOUR STUFF” – you get out of the victim mode and you get to be part of the solution, suddenly, you are invested which means you are committed to achieving a certain outcome. You can influence your outcome versus waiting for something to happen for you. In every situation, each individual plays a part in owning their stuff – 100% responsibility for what they contribute to the situation. There is no 50-50-60-40, or 70-30 – 100% -100%. Avoiding taking accountability is like having sticky gum stuck to your shoe until you pay attention to it. If you do not like the way something is playing out in your life, pay attention to it. How did you contribute to the situation? What do you want to happen? What actions are you taking to get the outcomes you want? By self-reflecting, you are starting to see what your role may have been in the situation.

Start taking accountability by:

  1. Determine What’s Most Important to YOU -What are your core values?
  2. Visualize Your Success
  3. Be intentional with Your Actions
  4. Own Your Stuff
  5. Readjust the Course

Taking accountability for your actions and outcomes does not mean you are weak or less than perfect. Accountability has little to do with perfection. Do what you say you are going to do. Simple concept. Some people avoid accountability because they have not determined what’s important to them, they get scared of the potential consequences, they are not confident they can follow through on the outcomes – successful or not, they may not be invested in the vision or goal, or they may not see themselves as being an important catalyst of the outcome.

Accountability starts with you! Pay attention to the feedback – your outcomes. Are you getting the results you want? What’s working? What’s not working? What do you need to continue to do or change? The hard part about being accountable to looking at your current reality and seeing how you have contributed or not contributed to the reality you said you wanted. Sometimes it hurts to see how you have been getting in your own way. However, when you step up and take accountability, you own your words and actions, you can change your life.

Have you ever wanted to get physically fit? Many people find that having an accountability partner helps. By creating an experience of meeting up at the gym to work out or checking in to verify that you have done what you said you are going to do, you will want to ensure you do not let them down or have a less favourable response. You would rather do what needs to get done than tell them you did not complete the task at hand.

You may hold more compassion for others as you realize if you want others to “own their stuff” – don’t expect perfection. Be empathetic. People will be more gracious and forgiving to you when you fall from perfection. By holding yourself and others accountable you are able to get the results and outcomes you want. Avoid accountability and the problem will fester until it grabs your attention. By that time, relationships may be damaged and results halted.

Expect more from yourself. You know in your heart you can do better at holding yourself accountable. Choose one thing to do differently to hold yourself accountable – and watch your life change. Start getting the results you want. No excuses.

What are you going to do today to hold yourself accountable?

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Episode 84 – Lessons from a 90’s Action Star with Dr. Ganz Ferrance

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Meet Our Guest:

Dr.Ganz holds a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology and an M.A. in Developmental and Educational Psychology from Andrews University in Michigan. He is the former Public Education Coordinator as well as the former Vice-President of the Psychologist’s Association of Alberta. Dr. Ganz enjoys sharing how people can get more “mileage” from their lives.

Dr. Ganz and his team believe that we are all a work in progress and that true change takes place from the inside out. The change you and your team will experience under the support and objective guidance provided by Dr. Ganz and his team will result in a core change allowing you to live life functioning at your optimal level.