Debra Kasowski

I Can See Clearly Now

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I am in the midst of obtaining my certification in Emotional Intelligence and we were discussing the downsides of possessing too much of a strong characteristic. It got me thinking about a blog post I recently wrote called Time to Shift from Challenges to Opportunity. I am not second guessing what I wrote, however, I can see how people may see me as somewhat of a Pollyanna or someone wearing rose coloured glasses or even a blue sky thinker.

I do believe that you can create some of your circumstances with the power of your mind and how you respond to situation. In the Emotional Intelligence psychometric tool (EQi 2.0), there is a sub-scale or competency called reality testing. According to Stein and Book (2006), “The best simple-sentence definition of reality testing is that it is capacity to see things objectively, the way things are, rather than the way we wish or fear them to be.” Reality testing is important but I do not think it should stop people from dreaming and creating a business, shifting the culture of an industry, or creating a life you love.

Courtesy of Scott Chan/freedigitalphotos.net
Courtesy of Scott Chan/freedigitalphotos.net

Develop Clarity. It is important for you to assess where you are and know where it is you want to go. Once you develop clarity about what it is you want, you will be able to start seeing the “how” in which you wish to get there.

Be Open to Opportunity. I cannot stress this enough from the previous blog post. I want you to know no matter what circumstances you find yourself in that you always have choices and options. You can either choose to do something differently or the situation may force you into doing something different. How do I know this? Think about all the choices you have made to get you to where you are today.

Watch the Words You Use. Your thoughts, feelings, and behavior affect the actions that you take. If you focus on challenges, you may miss the opportunity waiting in the wings.

Ask Others for Their Insight but Make Your Own Decision. You probably have heard the saying, “You are so close to the situation, you cannot see the forest through the trees.” When you are the the midst of a situation, it may be difficult for you to either see the situation for what it is or the big picture as to how it impacts yourself or others. You may have exhausted ideas and hit the wall and do not know where to turn.

Some people think asking for assistance is a weakness, whereas, I see it as one of the powerful things a person can do. Asking others for their perspective can help you challenge assumptions and perhaps see a different perspective. A story I love to share is one I read long ago in an Anthony Robbins book where Walt Disney asked his employees input into a dilemma or creative idea. Employees submitted idea after idea. Not only did he empower his employees, he reviewed all these ideas and it helped him become one of the innovative leaders of the century.

If you are facing a challenge, try testing your reality. Do you see one of the challenges you face as a true fact or do you see as an opportunity to do something differently? Believe me, I catch myself when I start viewing situations as challenges and setbacks. I also need to remind myself to look at the possibilities and opportunities before me. Situations are temporary – both positive and negative. I will start to plan, prepare, and challenge myself to rise above the situation and you can too.

Courtesy of graur codrin/freedigitalphotos.net
Courtesy of graur codrin/freedigitalphotos.net

I can see clearly now – I chose to look at the bright side. When you focus on the strengths and the clear vision you have for yourself, opportunities will start to present themselves.

What do you see? What choice will you make?

Share this blog post with others so they too can see clearly now.

Stein, Steven J. and Book, Howard E. (2006) The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success. 3rd edition.John Wiley & Sons Canada. Mississauga, Ontario.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are You Getting Caught in the Comparison Trap?

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Do you find yourself stuck in a rut thinking you are not making any traction? You can be making progress and moving forward yet feel like you are not accomplishing anything. This happens all because you have taken your eyes off the prize and steered off course by comparing yourself to others. Let me make a confession – I have done it, yes – I have  compared myself to others only to lose my focus on what I truly wanted. We can be hard on ourselves up and lose our momentum. Don’t get caught in the trap!

Admiring others and wanting to create your own design is great but it comes to a rapid halt when you start saying phrases like this, “Oh, but look what she is doing.”, “I will never be able to be that successful.”, or even “She doesn’t  have kids, so she has the time.” Do not fool yourself for one second. Let’s take a look at those phrases:

  1. “Oh, but look at what she is doing.”  Look at what she is doing and think about the following because you can learn from it not just envy it. Whatever it is she focuses on she got the results for. Continue to focus on what you want and you will get the results you want or better – your way. You are also looking at one moment in time but not the sleepless nights and roadblocks or obstacles that she has faced. You may not want all the other things that came with the package.
  2. “I will never be able to be that successful.” First of all, define what success means to you. Success has many different meanings – money, happiness, having a family, memories, and personal fulfillment. You can be a success where you are by making the choice to be successful. What you believe, you will ultimately receive!
  3. “She doesn’t have kids, so she has the time.” Kids or no kids – it comes down to basic time management and making your business have priority time and your family having priority time. There are many mompreneurs out in the world making a difference. There are many mothers who are authors who get up early to write their books – one paragraph at a time. Drop the excuses – you can do it! Your Way! 

The timing of your success and accomplishments always show up at the right time for you. There is a reason you  defined success may not have arrived yet.

  1. You have not clearly defined what success means to you so you do not know what it will look like for you. You could be already there.
  2. The Universe or God is still aligning people, meetings, lessons, and circumstances to make everything fall into place.
  3. You have not taken any action yet toward your goals and dreams. They are not going to fall into your lap or arrive in your mailbox. As the saying goes, you cannot win a lottery, if you do not buy a ticket.” YOU need to take action.

I challenge you to make a list of what you have accomplished in the past 60 days. Focus on your end game and what you desire for you because it is only available for you. Focus – has been one of the greatest keys to my success! The power of focus will change everything! Listen to what you are saying – “Do you really what the package or the moment?” You are going to shine – keep the momentum and stay on track. The comparison trap is nothing but an accident waiting to happen. Keep your eyes on the road ahead! 

Soar Like an Eagle

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I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning 1:21 am to finish a book. I am so impressed – I have read 4 books in the past 3 weeks. The book I just finished was called “A Time to Dance” by Karen Kingsbury. I am relatively new to the Christian Fiction genre -this is the second book I read by this author. She is a phenomenal writer and her messages and style are so profound I could easily see everything play out like a movie. Do you have any favorite authors that capture your attention making you feel that you are an extra on the set of a movie?

Did you know that an eagle wiill fly above a storm to a higher height? In her book, the character Kade writes a special report about eagles. I learned that the eagle is the only bird that does not “fly away” from trouble. The eagle learns to use the storms of life to reach higher heights. Have you ever noticed how much stronger and even more confident you are after you have risen above an adversity? Yes, depending on your perspective. Do you rise to the challenge or do you try to “fly away” hoping that everything will go away? What you chose to fly away from will still be here when you get back, whether that be a damaged relationship, unpaid bills, or cluttered home. Sometimes it may be the same and other times the circumstances it may have gotten worse because you did not tend to the matter at hand.

Once I asked a colleague what her most prized possession was, she stated a simple eagle feather given to her as a gift. As I read “A Time to Dance”, I realized what  an honour my colleague was bestowed and recognized with a feather of an eagle. Eagles symbolize strength, courage, bravery, and dedication. I know when adversity strikes in whatever size it comes – it can knock you off your feet, change the course of your business and even your life.  

Rise to the challenge and soar like an eagle by:

  • View your challenges as temporary. The saying , “And this too shall pass” rings true. Time can heal many things.
  • Look for the opportunity or “silver lining” on the cloud. With every adversity or challenge lies an opportunity or gift to be unwrapped by you.
  • Seek guidance or help when you need it. If you feel that you have fallen off course, find a mentor who can help you get on track. This should be someone who has done what you wish to do.
  • Discover how you can share your lesson with others. You may write a book, short story, or create a video to share your learning with others. You can also develop a keynote and start sharing your message with the world!
  • Step into your new role or dream and create a momentum fueled by your desire to go after your dreams and goals.

Remember someone out there in the world is waiting to hear your message! Life will offer challenges to test you to see how badly you want what you say what you want. Are you ready to take action and soar with the eagles? Go get it!