Debra Kasowski

Why You Should Banish the Word TRY from Your Vocabulary

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The words we use to communicate carry so much power. There are some words that we just need to drop from our vocabulary for they carry nothing but a negative context.

I was speaking with a business owner whose focus was in real estate who needed someone to provide interior design and decor. I referred someone who is very professional and I respect. As you can appreciate, when you provide a referral you are providing someone that you know, like, and trust and who will do a good work. Right before their meeting, the business owner called me to let me know that they were about to meet. I wished them well and I had asked that this business owner treat my referral well. The business owner’s response was, “I will try.” To which my response was, “There is no try in how you treat people. You either choose to treat someone well or you choose not to.” The business owner became flustered and stated “What do you mean? I replied that how you treat someone is a choice.

 “Do or do not do. There is no try.” Star Wars character Yoda

Yoda’s philosophy applies to all opportunities that are presented to you. You cannot just sit on the fence or put in partial effort. You’re either in or you’re out. Your results are in direct proportion to whether you’re willing to make a commitment to choose to do something versus not doing something.

By reflecting on this conversation, I have made it my mission to help you, my reader, eliminate the word “try” from your vocabulary. Try is a destructive word for two main reasons: (1) it’s a cop-out or way to get you off the hook; you really don’t have to put the effort and (2) it points to self-doubt – doubt and fear that you are able to turn out the results you have been asked to deliver or hope to deliver. There is no real firm commitment to say, “Yes, I can do this!”

There is a distinct difference between “trying” and “doing”. I had read a story in which Tony Robbins was speaking to a woman in one of his audiences about her marriage. She told him that she had tried everything to save their marriage and that her husband had done nothing. So in hearing this, Tony Robbins had asked her to try to pick up a chair. The woman obliged and picked up the chair. He stated that he told her to “try to pick up the chair”. The woman was confused; she did not understand. He went on to explain that if you tried to pick up the chair you would not actually pick it up because you are making an attempt you weren’t doing. If I said pick up the chair to you, you could physically pick up the chair but if I ask you to try you will not succeed.

Really listen to the power of the word “try” and how it sabotages your efforts-it all starts in your mind. It’s time to shift to making a commitment. 100% all in where failure is not an option.

The words or phrases you should be using instead include:

I will…

I can…

Let’s get to it…

Can you hear the difference in the power of those phrases? How much stronger is your belief in yourself? How much more will you be able to accomplish or achieve?

Be aware of the words that you use. Make a commitment to yourself and to others when you say you will do things. Give it your best! Remember when you offer a referral you were hoping that they will treat your referral with the same respect and appreciation as the relationship they have formed with you.

What are some words you have eliminated from your vocabulary?

Please share this article with others who need to eliminate the word TRY!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com 

How to Pivot and Position Yourself in Changing Economic Times

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The economy is constantly changing whether it is due to the current political party or available resources. It does not matter if you have right sized, downsized, or any sized, you need to adapt to the fluctuation of the marketplace. If you are a business owner, you know that you can’t sit around and wait for the timing to be just right.

You’ve probably learned that there are times you have needed to dig deep and tap into creativity and lead the way in innovation. You may have heard the entrepreneurial saying, “build the plane as you fly”. Entrepreneurs are constantly pivoting or course correcting to reveal the blueprint or formula that allows for a model that scalable and rinse and repeatable. If everyone waited for the right time, nothing would happen.

During tough economic times, you need to be adaptable to what is going on in your environment. Not just tough times – anytime. Pivoting allows you to refine your initial vision and re-position yourself with the economic changes .You may take a look at the skill set of your team or brainstorm new programs and services to support your clients. At the end of the day, your clients or customers are looking to receive solutions to their pain points and provide the greatest value. Ensure you are using your team’s assets. Even if you readjust your product line, products or services, you still need to market and let people know about what you have to offer them. Now is not the time to stop marketing. You can’t be on the mind of your customer if no one knows that you are the solution that they’ve been searching for.

“The easy way to get into a person’s mind is to be first.” Al Ries and Jack Trout

You don’t have to wait for the market to turn to prosper. Market your message to the masses. Create your own economy. Distinguish yourself from your competitor by being the best in your industry. This doesn’t mean comparing yourself to your competitor. It means being your best-be so good that people rave about you. What makes you unique? What do you do or offer that makes you stand out from the crowd? What emotions do you trigger that causes people to want to choose you… How do you make them feel?

You want to create that hunger or desire that people need to have your product or service and that you are the only one with a solution to their pain point or problem. Why do people need you? What do you offer that others do not?

TICE Strategies to Put Yourself Out of Your Comfort Zone and Into the Marketplace

  • Tell –Tell people what you need. Tell people what you need them to do. Tell people what you offer.
  • Inquiry – Discover the needs and wants of your clients. Aim to fulfill those with your products, programs, and services.
  • Collaborate – Connect with other business owners that offer complementary services for a joint venture or collaboration. Ensure they are like minded and have the same vision and values you do.
  • Escape the Office Computer – Get out from behind your computer and connect with people. Learn what is important to people and how you can help them without being salesy. Listen to what they want and need.

By doing these four things, you can redefine or reinvent your business strategy and marketing plan to suit the needs of the ever-changing environment. Set yourself up for success so you can pivot, position, and profit.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com 

5 Reasons People Push Back or Resist Change

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Have you ever had someone give you push back when you were trying to implement something new? Have you been ever questioned about a change you were trying to make? Have you asked yourself why the change needs to occur?

Pushback or resistance to change can show up in many ways. A person can get defensive in trying to get their point. Whereas another person, may choose to be defiant and not do what they have been directed to do. Individuals may procrastinate in moving forward with their part of the change and do things last-minute or miss deadlines completely thus sabotaging the change.

Even though push back and resistance to change can be frustrating, it is important to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Ask yourself:

  • Why might this person be challenging or questioning me?
  • Is there value in what they are saying?
  • What is the impact that they see that I may not?

Sometimes we think that the person who’s playing the devil’s advocate is resisting change but what they’re really doing is looking at the situation from different angles. It is important to differentiate whether this person is pushing back or resisting change or are they providing you with valuable shifts in perspective?

Don’t get me wrong…

There are people who resist change. Instead of seeing change as progress, they see change as paralysis.

There are several reasons people resist change and the questions you should be asking yourself?

  1. Lack of Control When people feel that things are done “to them” rather than “with them”, they feel a loss of autonomy. Sometimes these changes are a surprise and the ideas of change are imposed upon them. What information do they need to feel more in control?
  1. Fear of Failure If you’ve ever been a part of a group or an organization with seasoned members, you may have heard the phrase “We’ve done it before and it didn’t work”. These individuals often operate from a place of fear – the fear of failure. They come from the premise that because it didn’t work before, it may not work again and they don’t want to fail. However, they fail to recognize that even though the concept has been used before, it didn’t mean that it was the right time, the right resources were available, or that organization has new people and has gone through a many new experiences. Just because something didn’t work before doesn’t mean, it might not work this time. Have you ever been a part of a group or organization like this? How did it make you feel? What opportunity can you offer for someone to try out their idea?
  1. Too Much Uncertainty Some people resist change because the uncertainty or the “not knowing” makes them feel uneasy and fearful. They do not want to step out of their comfort zone. When people make decisions out of fear, they move into a fight or flight mode and cannot think rationally. They also may make decisions hastily without thought.

We forget we wake up every day with a whole to-do list of different things not knowing what the entire outcome will be. Life would be pretty boring if we knew everything that was going to happen. There would be no excitement or anticipation. There may even be a lack of motivation or effort to pursue and achieve a certain result. What can you do to support your customers or the people you work with when faced with uncertainty?

  1. People are Creatures of Habit We fall into unconscious routines and are creatures of habit. We rely on structure of schedules, calendars, and processes to carry things out. One change can make everything feel completely different. When everything is different, we feel uncertainty creep in. What processes or structures will stay the same and what will be different? What will the “new normal” look like?

 

  1. Change creates work. People may not buy-into the change, thinking that the change is not necessary or change is occurring just for the sake of change. You may see this when people are suffering from change fatigue. They may be unwilling to learn one more thing. Change is happening so much that they do not have the time to adjust and adapt to the change because what they just changed is changing again so they start thinking, “What’s the point?” We need to be aware of having too many changes to a process. It may mean that the change needs to be thought through a bit more. What impact will the changes make? Are the changes being made necessary? What else do you need to consider when making the change?

“In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”  – Eric Hoffer

Change represents progress and growth. If you are not changing and adapting to the world that is going on around you – you may get left behind.

“You must embrace change before change erases you.” – Rob Liano

Anchor yourself in the vision, mission, and core values that you live and abide by – this grounding exercise can provide you with the familiarity you seek. When you feel you are asked to do more with less and resources appear scarce, it is time to innovate and get creative. Do not hold back in trying to understand what is behind the push back. You may be too close to the situation to see the value in what the “devil’s advocate” is offering you.

Share the vision for what you want to achieve. Engage the individuals the change impacts whenever possible. The more they are part of the process, the less resistant they will be to implementing a change. Appreciate their thoughts, ideas, and suggestions by allowing them to share the possibilities. By gathering information from diverse groups and individuals, you strengthen the strategies for managing transition. Use push back and resistance to change as your opportunity to gain insight to the larger picture.

Have you experienced push back or resistance to change – share your story about what you did?

Share this article with someone who may be experiencing this right now!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.deb

When Building Your Team What Comes First: People or Process?

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Many organizations are working toward building a culture of hiring diverse groups of people to meet the demands of their organizations. They are being asked to do more with less. The right people must be in the right job. The resources of time, money, and people are limited.

I had the opportunity to interview the Acting Sergeant of the local police service and discover what they look for when hiring their team. The police service looks at building a diverse team that they believe will draw on the strengths of the individuals and create a cohesive unit. In the police service, you want to know you have back up and someone has your back. Managers want to know that their direct reports are putting in their best effort and the direct reports want to know that their manager is going to support them when needed.

When it comes to driving an organization, the dilemma of between people and processes is like the “chicken and egg” scenario. Which comes first? We need people and processes to run an organization and serve the people we are serving.

You want to have the right person with the right knowledge, skills, and abilities in the right position. If you don’t, many things could go wrong. Deciding on the right hire is more than what is on the paper. You want to ensure you are asking the right questions to determine if the person you are interviewing has the knowledge, experience, and capability to fulfill the role. No matter the situation or position, there will always be a learning curve. There are many transferable skills and some skills that may need to be learned. Tasks, procedures, and policies can be learned but people skills need to be cultivated.

People skills matter. Organizations can be people driven and fail in process or process driven and disregard people. The downfall is that we don’t always look at what knowledge, experiences, skills, and abilities that the people who work with us have. Sometimes you’ll see companies look for outside consultants but they fail to listen to the people within their organization with years of experience. In my work with Appreciative Inquiry, the premise is that the people who work alongside of you have the answers you need to fulfill the gaps you may have identified to make your organization great.

Employees get frustrated when people who do not work the frontline try to explain a process to them without consulting the people it impacts first-them. Do you blame them? People want to be asked for their input – engaged in the process, especially when it impacts them. In a sense, this engagement would allow people to drive the process.

When it comes to process, you need to gain a firm grasp of your organizational needs, strengths, opportunities for growth, aspirations, and desired results in order to create a strong vision and a process that the people will buy into. For a process to have buy in, it must be predictable and repeatable – there must be consistency. People must understand the importance of a process and how a process works before they will have buy. In order for this to occur, you need a leader who can create a strong vision for the people of the organization and start the conversation of what needs need to be met to drive a process.

People or process -it is impossible to have one without the other but at the end of the day, we are the people and we are here for the people. The process is how we serve the people that we are here for. To improve productivity and performance, ask yourself the following questions (better yet – ask the people you work with):

  • How can I engage the people around me?
  • What processes exist and which need to be improved?
  • What can I do to improve my role in the process?
  • What processes need to be developed to create the vision for the organization?
  • What can I start doing to assist the process?

At the end of the day, we need to hire people who relate to people, engage others, and also understand the drivers of performance and processes to get the results that we want. It begins with people.

Who do you want on your team?

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 Magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com

 

 

How to Shift Out of Negative Thinking to Positive Thinking

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Everyone has their own story of how their day went. What you see and how you think all depends on what you focus on. A positive thinker, the optimist, will share their story with excitement ensuring they don’t miss out on the details. They are hopeful and anticipate that good things will happen in the future. Whereas the negative thinker, the pessimist has a tendency to see the worst aspects of things and believe that the worst will happen. They lack hope and confidence in the future. They see positive results a just flukes. Do you know anyone with these qualities? Which one are you?

Knowing the Difference

The negative thinker is often exhausted, depressed, moody, irritable, and easily frustrated. Little things increase their stress level. Some negative thinkers are prone to overeating as they use food to comfort them. Positive thinkers tend to be healthier, more successful, and happy and fulfilled.

What is your reaction when an unexpected event occurs? Do you focus on the negative ignoring the positive? Do you look for the imperfections? Are you jumping to conclusions or trying to read someone’s mind? Do you take things personally regardless if it’s one person’s opinion? Chances are you are a pessimist or negative thinker if you have said yes to these questions.

Your self-talk is that internal dialogue that runs through your head that continuously interprets, judging, analyzes, and explains situations. This self-talk has a tendency to make negative statements, judgments, and assumptions. Often what is believed can be completely off track and easily blown out of proportion. When you are stressed out, you cannot think rationally and make good decisions. Your thoughts and feelings impact your behaviors and actions. Negative thoughts lead to negative outcomes. Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes.

In order to start getting the outcomes that you want, you need to shift your thinking to a more positive outlook. By doing so, you will decrease your stress level and you will be able to handle such a situation objectively and with ease. You can feel energized and hopeful for your future. Remember your thoughts are just thoughts they are not facts. 13038476_l

Let’s say you made a mistake. A pessimist is quick to look for fault or blame themselves for any shortcomings. They see situations as permanent and almost impossible to get out of. The optimist believes that they are responsible for their results and view as a mistake as a learning opportunity to move forward. They see setbacks as temporary and with this new knowledge they will advance further. Optimists are better at finding solutions to problems that arise.

A Choice

At one time or another, you may have caught yourself thinking negatively. Most people are able to shift their thinking to a more positive outlook without blanketing one situation as impacting the rest of their lives. Some people feel that their childhood upbringing is responsible for their outcomes of their adulthood. However, if you truly think about it, your youth could be considered as the age of less than 21 years. I’m not discounting that some people have led challenging lives with neglect, abandonment, anxiety, abuse, or depression. What I am saying is that: Each person has a choice each day to choose their thoughts and how they feel to direct their actions and behavior. This choice is power – the power to live a life that you choose to live.

What will you choose?

“Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions.” – Dallin H. Oaks

Shift Your Thinking

What dialogue will are having right now about a situation or event? What emotions are coming up for you?

Ask yourself questions to challenge your thoughts because you could be wrong:

Is the thought that you’re having helpful or unhelpful?

What do you believe to be true?

Is there any evidence to disprove your thought?

What would you say to a friend or colleague in a similar situation?

What are the costs and benefits of you thinking in this way?

What other ways to look at this situation?

What thoughts do you wish to have instead?

What action(s)will you take to support your positive outlook?

Your thoughts are like magnets. If you are thinking positively, you will look for evidence that positively supports your belief. If you are thinking negatively, you will look for the negative that supports that belief. Start looking for the good – build on the small success. Every situation can be seen from a positive or negative perspective. You have the opportunity to make a choice that could change her life. How will you describe your story or your day?

You get what you focus on. – Anthony Robbins

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has the heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 Magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com