Are You Punishing Yourself from Being Successful?

Sometimes fleeting thoughts can cause turmoil…

No one ever said that chasing your dreams would be a smooth ride. It is more like a roller-coaster full of ups and downs. Definitely not for the faint of heart but it can be exhausting to the point where you say “That’s it! I give up! If I shut everything down, everyone around me will either back off or be happier if I just stop all this nonsense.”ID-10096420

Before you do, I want you to stop for a minute. Let’s really think this through. Let’s say you do stop due to the pressure of your environment or the belief you have in yourself to make things happen. You may make the choice to do exactly that and accept a different routine as a new normal but eventually you will be miserable and potentially resentful for giving up on your dream or goal. Your unhappiness will overflow into all the other areas of your life: your decisions, the way you communicate with others, and your interpersonal relationships. If you try to please everyone else, you are suffocating your purpose and your passion. What are you teaching people around you? How is quitting going to serve you? Part of you will die.

There is a distinct difference between being no longer passionate about what you are doing and quitting because others do not want you to fail or they are worried about how you will change when you reach your goal. Take notice. Their fears have nothing to do with you! It is their stuff about how they feel about stepping out of their comfort zone and going after their dreams. People want you to succeed and they want to help but they also want to protect you from taking a risk and failing. The greatest thing about life’s failures is that you can get up, learn the lesson, try again or change things up. Surround yourself with people who believe, encourage, and support you and who would not ask you to quit.

ID-10089448You are sabotaging your own success when you step back or worse, stop taking action steps in order to calm the waters of other people’s fears, doubt, or criticism. The number one sign you could be sabotaging your own success is procrastination – basically, doing anything else more pleasurable other than what you need to be doing. Consistency is needed for success to be achieved. It is all the small action steps that set you up for achievement.

People may fall along the wayside for a short time or even longer. They may be caught up in a cycle of envy, unworthiness, or re-evaluation of their own lives. They may compare where they are to where you are. Their imagination could be running wild. They may have realized that they have settled or not challenged themselves or do not wish to do so. They may even think you no longer accept them as they are while you chase your goals. The funny thing is – we do not go after what we want to leave people behind. It is awfully lonely if we cannot share our successes with others.

Stop punishing yourself! Let the way you live inspire others. Recognize everyone is on their own journey. We do not have the same passions or purpose. Holding yourself back to please others does not serve any one. You have set the bar for yourself – do not lower it. Encourage others to raise their own standards of what they expect of themselves. You are not the judge – they are. The goals and dreams you are pursuing are YOURS and no one else’s. If you do not follow your passions and what you believe to be your purpose, we all lose. Punishing yourself to fit into the crowd serves no one.

Be the best version of yourself by being the person you know yourself to be. Your happiness will flood the hearts of all you interact with.

Please comment and share with others so they do not stop chasing their dreams.

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion.

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