Debra Kasowski

How Taking Responsibility Can Transform Your Life

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From an early age, we have learned that life comes with responsibilities. We all have responsibilities but do we fulfill those responsibilities to the best of our ability? When things do not go as planned, you may have caught yourself blaming, complaining, or making excuses.

Granted, life happens along the way.

Some things are not in our control but there is a great number of things that are.18342524_l

Blaming, complaining, and making excuses will not change a thing. Alright, maybe the change will be that people start avoiding you as they do not want to get caught up in negative energy.

Don’t wait for a fairy godmother to wave her magic wand?

You need to step up and take responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions. You can much more control than you give yourself credit for.

When things do not go as planned, you can choose to react or to respond. For example, if you receive an email that is devastating. Do not react with CAPITALIZED letters. Do not spend time analyzing the person’s intent. An email is nothing more than words on a screen. Give yourself some time to think about what has triggered you instead of creating a volcanic eruption of emotions. Pick up the phone or arrange for an in-person meeting to voice your concerns, get rationale, and ask for what you need to understand the message received.

See every situation is an opportunity to learn or teach others.

Reflect on situations that you have reacted to rather than responded to. What can you do differently if the situation presented itself again?

You have the ability to control your thoughts, habits, and actions. Step up and do what you say you are going to do. If you are not doing what you say you must do, why not? Is it important to you? Are you holding yourself back or holding people up? Inaction is an action. Taking responsibility and responding to life events can help you create a life that you are in control of.

Your Excuse Today Affects Your Tomorrow

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Photo Courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/freedigitalphotos.net

When you finally get a chance to sit down and the end of the day, can you honestly say that you have given your very best effort for that day? Several individuals will say, “Absolutely!” whereas others may say, “Well, I guess I could have “tried” a little harder.” Notice the difference. One statement , is with conviction and the other is weaker. Could have, would have and should have’s are not declarations of intent. When you say I will try, it means maybe yes and maybe no. Now what if you said, “I will” or “I am going to give my best effort.” Do you notice a difference? Which statement sounds stronger?

There is so much power in the words that you use. No matter what you do – business interactions or interactions in your relationships, the same rules apply. I want you to examine or reflect on the words that you use. The power of the mind can be one of the greatest challenges or your greatest gift once you master your thoughts. The words you tell yourself, are what hold you back and when in doubt you mind can play tricks of comparison and competition. The only person you should be comparing yourself or competing with is YOU!

What excuses do you say or give for not giving your best efforts.  You need to take responsibility for what you have control of.

 

 The top 5 excuses I hear are:

1. My Boss – My boss did not give me clear direction or not enough time to complete a project. What could you do here? Ask for more detail, direction, and perhaps negotiate a deadline.

 

2. My Kids – Yes, kids have bedtimes and routines that need to be followed but do they really stop you from accomplishing your goals? Usually not. You need to get creative – get up an hour earlier, exercise with a video tape or go to the gym where they have babysitting, or even hire a babysitter or ask a trusted friend.

 

3. Not enough time – This is a big one! The  solution to this is tracking your time for one week. Look at where time gets wasted. When you start becoming vigilant and focused on the amount of time you spend in different areas you will notice that you can find more time to do what you love.

 

4. I am too tired. – Keep saying “I am too tired.” and the more things that will come up to ensure this statement reigns true. Get enough sleep so you can function at you optimal level.

 

5. Not enough money. – Many individuals say that they do not have enough money to go after what they what. One thing that I know to be true is when you investigate the cost of some of your goals or dreams you will realize that they are not so far out of reach after all. When you make a decision and plan, you can make many things happen and even surprise yourself.

 

BONUS ONE: I do not know enough. I am not good enough. Are you resourceful? Can you find the answer or ask someone who knows? A silver platter is not being held out with a note saying – here it is! You need to get in the game of life. You can learn and find out.

 

The excuses you tell yourself affect your tomorrow. Change the perspective of your excuse and take responsibility for your action. Have you tried changing someone? Doesn’t work so well does it? The only person you can change is YOU! Drop the excuses, get the results that you want, and be victorious!