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“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences.” – Eckart Tolle

There are times in life, in business, or your career where you feel life is happening to you versus for you. How do you know if you are stuck in one of those times? When you are stuck, you get caught up in assigning blame to others, complain about what’s not going right, and you make excuses for not getting the results that you want. You are viewing the world from a place of lack or scarcity. You have negative self-talk and you catch yourself falling into a negative spiral of emotion. You stop taking actions because you figure there is no point. It can be a tough place to be.

Everything can change when you decide to make a change. The smallest change in making intentional choices in different aspects of your life can make the biggest shifts. If you decide to be more conscious of your spending or food choices or preparation, chances are you will save money and eat out less. If you start to build and nurture relationships, you will be long lasting connections. If you decide to walk among the people you lead and take interest in them, they will take interest in you. It all starts with intention.

When you start to shift your thinking from the belief that other people are responsible for making the change or creating what you want (they owe you – NO RESPONSIBILITY) to realizing you are the one who has the control. Taking responsibility means you are taking control. That’s when the real power comes into play. You have more power than you realize and give yourself credit for. Start giving yourself permission to create a life or business you really want and believe you deserve it!

NO RESPONSIBILITY = NO POWER

REAL RESPONSIBILITY = REAL POWER

If you want to create more success in your life, you need to take 100% responsibility for all you experience. It starts with no complaining, no blaming, or finding excuses for why you are not getting the results you want. It’s easy to celebrate the great things and not so easy to learn from things that did not go as planned – because sometimes it stings. The question you need to ask yourself is, “What could I have done differently to get the results I wanted?” Pay attention to what you are thinking and how you feel. Focus on the actions to get results. It is not someone else’s job to deliver the results you want. You are responsible for everything from your achievements, education, personal relationships, your finances, and your thoughts and feelings. You create your results. You are not responsible for the way others react or respond. You are responsible for you!

Some people would rather avoid responsibility as it adds extra pressure and expectation – and of course, effort. They do not want to put in the hard work required to get the results. When you are focused on the penalties – less TV time, less sports time, less social time, spend some money, and the list goes on, you will not take action. Although sacrifice is temporary, it feels like something is taken away versus helping you get closer to the goal. Time for a reframe. Otherwise, maybe you do not want it as badly as you say you do. When this happens, it is a great time to investigate a bit deeper. You could be trapped in the fear of success. You are probably thinking – “Don’t I want success?” People tend to avoid taking the actions needed or they sabotage themselves because success comes with an increase in responsibility and expectation. They worry about how they will maintain or exceed the results they have achieved. There is a T-shirt saying that says, “Easy doesn’t make you proud.” You are most proud of the moments where you push through limits or adversity.

Start taking responsibility by doing 3 things:

Develop a Growth Mindset – Mistakes and failures are life’s greatest learning opportunities. Learn from them. What are the possibilities? Focus on solutions and you will find them. Focus on problems and you will see obstacles. Learn through trial and error, educate yourself, take a course, develop a new skill, and take on new roles.

Share Your Voice – Quit holding back! Share your observations and opinions. Don’t complain. Come up with and offer suggestions or solutions to improve a situation. People are not mind-readers. When people complain, they often have a view of what they would like to see instead. Encourage them to share their thoughts without judgment. You – included.

Set a Standard for Yourself – Raise the bar by continually challenging yourself to become better. Produce more. Be more efficient. Create more. Listen to podcasts and audiobooks. Read books. Expect more to achieve more.

BONUS TIP: Above all, start taking action. If nothing changes, nothing changes.

“Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Don’t sell yourself short. The real power comes when you take 100% responsibility for your results. What can you start doing to take more responsibility in your life? Remember you have three choices: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. What will you choose?

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

Anyone who wants to grow in their business or in their leadership skills has to learn how to put themselves out there. Putting yourself out there doesn’t mean exposing yourself and every little intimate detail of your life. It is about getting out amongst people and learning about the world around you. The secret sauce is about being curious about what matters most to people and putting yourself out there.

“Believe that if you make courageous choices and bet on yourself and put yourself out there, that you will have an impact, as a result of what you do. And you don’t need to know now what that would be or how will it happen because no one ever does.” – Dick Costolo

Does thought of networking make you queasy?

If you’re shy and feel uncomfortable in networking situations, you might find yourself hiding behind your computer with every excuse why not to go to a networking event. You tell yourself you don’t really like to meet people. Although this may be true, the greater truth may be that you’re more afraid to fail in front of others or say the wrong thing. You may also be afraid to succeed, for the fear of the unknown and how your life will change. Uncertainty can hold you hostage and you may sabotage yourself by letting your imagination go wild with all the “what if” situations that would not support you. You are in the people business. You need to connect with people.

Imagine what it would be like to meet like-minded people who could introduce you to other like-minded people to ensure that your pipeline of clients is consistently filled forget the promotion you have been longing for. How would that feel?

Pretty amazing I bet!

People don’t know how great you are and until you show them. They want to know how you will help them. Don’t let your own fears hold you back from providing value to others.

Focus on providing value instead of focusing on your fear. Every person does not like to be put in the spotlight as they feel exposed and vulnerable. You may worry about what others will think of you or wonder if people will like you or your ideas. You may fear being rejected as the expert you see yourself to be. When it comes to your clients, who knows more about your subject matter than you? Most people are wondering what you are thinking about them and their ideas.

If you want to grow and being known as the go-to resource for expert, exposure in the marketplace if necessary. You have to take the risk of putting your ideas and opinions out there.

No, you won’t appeal to everyone but that’s the beauty of it.

This is the exact reason why there is such abundance in the world. Each individual cannot serve everyone and they may not appeal to everyone and that is okay. There is more than enough business to go around for everyone.

“You put yourself out there in the truest way you can and hope others do the same. You’ll connect or you won’t, but you did what you could. “ – Chris Crutcher

Shift your thinking from self-promotion to self-expression. You may think that self-promotion is bragging and conceited. Self-promotion is about promoting oneself and it doesn’t have to mean that you’re arrogant or that you’re better than the next person. If I’m hiring you to do a job, I will look for the person who can best represent themselves and what they stand for. It will come down to how they express themselves. How you express yourself and what you stand for and how you take interest in others will demonstrate your core values and what you believe in.

Whether you’re putting a post on social media or writing your bio for an article, you want to be able to express how you provide solutions and can help others along their journey. Your expression may be in the form of photos, comments, or sharing a little bit about yourself in order to make yourself relatable to those around you. Think about what you’re expressing and how it may help others. Does it inspire? Does it encourage action taking? Does it help people reflect and think about their own situations?

Take action now. Too many people talk themselves out of taking action because they feel that they’ve missed the opportunity but what they’re really doing is coming up with an excuse as to why they haven’t taken action. You can always find evidence for whatever you believe to be true as it is your reality. It is never too late. If you’re waiting for everything to be perfect, you will miss out on those opportunities. New opportunities will arise for you to take action on. Remember that your work in progress in you can adjust your course along the way.

Every successful story from Eleanor Roosevelt to Oprah Winfrey required that they put themselves out there regardless of their fears to share their voice. Their circumstances weren’t perfect. They grew and learned along the way and put new knowledge into action. As one action didn’t work they would try another while they stayed focused and determined to move forward.

You can create your success story by taking the actions required to put yourself out there even when you are afraid. Know that you’re never alone as the like-minded people around you are often experiencing the same thing that you are but never have had the courage to share it with you. As you put yourself out there, you’ll quickly learn that many feel the same as you and you can be reassured that the courage that it takes for you to push through your fears, shift your thinking and take imperfect action, you will be inspiring others to do the same.

Debra Kasowski is an award-winning 2X bestselling author, professional speaker, certified executive coach, and podcast host of The Millionaire Woman Show which discusses topics of leadership, business, and human potential. She has interviewed influencers like Bob Burg from the Go-Giver, Dr. Mark Goulston, John Lee Dumas from Entrepreneur on Fire, and TEDx Speaker Teresa de Grosbois. Debra has the heart of a teacher and certified in the areas of Emotional Intelligence and Appreciative Inquiry a positive approach to change. Her work has been published in a variety of traditional and online media. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 165 – Real Power Real Responsibility

How to Get Rid of the Fear of ‘Putting Yourself Out There’ Once and For All