focus on the present Archives

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“Wherever you are, be there. If you can be fully present now, you’ll know what it means to live.” ― Steve Goodier

Have you ever been flooded with memories from the past? A song comes on the radio, a car drives by, a Facebook memory comes up in your news feed. Some memories make you smile while others hold onto hurts from the past. They can make you feel anxious, depressed, or even angry. Catch yourself…you are not your thoughts and emotions.

We have over 50,000 to 80,000 thoughts going through our minds at any point and time. The majority of those thoughts are negative. Most negative thoughts are about the past and fear of the future. It is the thoughts we bring into our awareness that we experience. Thoughts will come to mind and go away. When you hang onto a thought, it influences how you feel and your actions. If the thought is negative, it can throw you off track and spin into a spiral of negativity if you do not know how to reframe and shift the thought. Many people would like to run away from or ignore the thought when it triggers strong negative emotions. It makes them feel vulnerable and exposed and raw. If you ignore the thought it will never go away. You want to move toward the thought instead of away from it.

Tony Robbins explains that we hold onto past experiences because of the need for certainty. The past is something we believe we know. The fixation on the future gives us power. Eckart Tolle states that we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Internal Dialogue and external events influence how you think. Your thoughts do not describe who you are. You can think or feel anxious or depressed but you are not defined by the thought or feeling. You are experiencing the thought or feeling – you are not it! You can say, “I am feeling anxious about this situation”, instead of saying, “I am anxious.” It is important to notice your thoughts when they surface so you may bring the thought or how you feel into awareness.

As you bring thoughts and feelings into your awareness, start to focus on this present moment and what is going on where you are at. Accept that thoughts and feels are triggered. Acknowledge that they are there. When you accept that you’re experiencing a thought or feeling, it doesn’t mean you have to like what is happening. Focusing on the present allows you to pause and respond thoughtfully versus react to a situation.

Practice self-reflection and understand what is happening during the moment. What about this is triggering your emotions? Why is it affecting you? Is it something you have control over? If so, what are you willing to do? You are putting your attention on it and not dwelling on it. No judgment. You can only take responsibility for your actions and not the thoughts, feelings, or actions of others. Shift your focus onto the here and now. The easiest action to focus on is to focus on your breathing. Practice deep breathing.

Make a commitment to making a change. Instead of letting your thoughts and feelings from the past, focus on the things that matter most to you – the people, your hopes, dreams, and goals. Do the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing help move you toward what matters to you or away? Are they serving you in a positive way? Action leads you to your destiny, not your thoughts.

Your desire to hang onto the past impacts your future. You can shift into an empowering state by changing your habits. Research suggests it takes 21-66 days to change a habit and maintaining it. Here are some tips to get you started:

Practice Gratitude. Write down and state 3 things you are grateful daily.
Focus on your daily wins and achievements. You are further ahead than you give yourself credit for.
Stop rehashing and replaying the story. The more you replay it, the more you are anchored to the story. When you let go, you realize you have control. You can write a new story.
Events or information only have meaning by the meaning we attribute to it.
Choose to create new memories – write a new story.
Be an active listener by being present. You will form better connections with others.
Get involved in activities where you are in the flow. The activities you love and lose track of time in.

“Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for your life to begin and start making the most of the moment you are in.”

― Germany Kent

Focusing on the here and now is about being mindful of the present moment. YOU in the present is the only thing you actually have control over. What thought or feeling will you bring to your awareness? What can you do in this moment to change or rewrite how you view your story?

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

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“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” George Washington Carver

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One habit you are going to want to break free from is the habit of making excuses. Excuses are the long litany of reasons or rationale as to why you did not take action or do what you said you were going to do. Excuses defend your behaviours. When you fall on excuses, you are avoiding taking ownership of your life and responsibility for the outcomes and results that you want to get. It always seems to be someone else’s fault why they are not getting the success that they want. They play the victim. They often claim that their situation is different and no one understands what they are going through. Excuses are a way of avoiding reality and looking in the mirror.

Does this sound like you? If you catch yourself making excuses, STOP right there.

Do you want different results?

Yes!

You need to take 100% responsibility for your results. No excuses allowed.

You will find a way to figure it out. If you need to ask for help, you will ASK!

The excuses you are making tend to be due to FEAR!

Yes, that’s right. FEAR and there is a pay off for not taking action.

Some of the most common fears are:

Fear of Success
Fear of Failure
Fear of Rejection
Fear of Uncertainty
Fear of Responsibility
Fear of Change

Your fears hold you back from what you really want. If you allow your fears to hold you hostage, you cannot experience success. Your passion for what you want needs to be greater than you fear to step into your potential. When your fear is greater than your passion, you will make bad judgments, lack the self confidence to take responsibility to take charge of your life and may even live with regrets.

Start by taking a look at the excuses you have been making. What are they?

Not sure, listen to these excuse starters…

“I don’t have enough time…”

“I do not have enough education OR I am not smart enough.”

“It’s not the right time.”

“I don’t feel like it…OR I am not inspired to do it.”

”I do not know how to get started… OR how to do it”

“I am too old or too young.”

“I do not have the money.”

Challenge your excuses! Are you making excuses or do you have a REAL reason for something not turning out as you wished?

We all have the same amount of time in a day; it all depends on how you allocate the time you have available.

You can learn new information by researching and reading, watching YouTube Videos, taking a course, and asking others who already know how to do what you want to do.

Where do you prioritize your money? There is a tendency to focus your money where you feel is most important. Can you find a way to change the priorities assigned to your money?

When you feel its not the right time, you will note that there is a lack of resources, information, or confidence in your abilities.

When age is the excuse, it is due to a lack of confidence.

Whether you feel like it or not, you need to do it, Otherwise, you will always have a reason for not getting the results you want.

Focus on the here and now! What is in your control? You cannot change the past.

Stop comparing your situation to others. Don’t worry about what others are doing. Everyone is on their own journey and has different passions. Avoid comparing your situation or circumstance with others.

Focus on the solutions and opportunities in front of you and coming your way.

Look at your situation from different perspectives before making a decision.

Tap into your strengths. You are more talented and capable than you give yourself credit for.

You will find a way! No excuses allowed!

Excuses do not allow you to move ahead or grow in the process.

“If you have passion, there is no need for excuses because your enthusiasm will trump any negative reasoning you might come up with. Enthusiasm makes excuses a nonissue.” Wayne Dyer

Special Announcement – New Book and Podcast Schedule.

EPISODE 167 – Focus on the Here and Now

EPISODE 136 – Stop! No Excuses Allowed