comparing yourself to others Archives

There is one mindset that can cost you your dreams if you give it space. It sneaks up on you and can infiltrate your mind if you let it. You can create it with your imagination and take it anywhere you want. It sabotages any success you may have been achieving.

Can you guess what it is?

It is the “victim” mindset.

The victim mindset develops from comparing yourself to others and feeling that you are not enough. All you see is how great their life is, but you are part of their life 100% of the time.

You look at past setbacks and see your self as a complete failure without looking for the lessons. Therefore, you may even repeat the same mistakes. Maybe you didn’t learn it for the first time so history repeated itself.

Go easy on yourself. We are so quick to criticize ourselves but my guess is that you would not be so hard on your best friend. Maybe you need to be a best friend to yourself. Be a little kinder to yourself – it may even ripple into the rest of your world.

The victim mindset can steal your joy and your happiness. It can destroy friendships.

The people who you are inspired by should not be people you compare yourself to. They are people you should aspire to be like knowing that you too can do the same. There is a proven track record to be won.

I encourage you to strive for your personal best as this is really the only race worth running or fighting for. Every person has their own lane – it can be fast or slow you choose by the choices you make.

I love to inspire others but motivation comes from within. I want to see people rise above the chaos and past hurts. I want people to raise the bar just a bit higher than last year knowing that they can do it – because they are worth it and can achieve it.

I have been there but what I have learned is that you have control over how long you stay in that place. What you focus and bring your attention to, you get more of. So have the “pity party” or the Eeyore moments and let it go! Shift gears – there is so much more for you to accomplish. The victim mindset will just slow you down. Don’t let it. A positive mindset will take you places bigger than your dreams as long as you take action and put in the effort.

Whether you are a professional, executive or entrepreneur, your mindset needs to be “game on”. You do not have the time or luxury for negative self-talk. Talk back to it and put it in its place. Learn from your lessons – that is what life is about. You are here to make an impact. You are here as Gandhi eloquently said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Why? Cause you and your dreams are worth it! You are the one and only – give your best!

Be victorious!

Go ahead and share how your shift your thinking into a positive state of mind!

Do you find yourself stuck in a rut thinking you are not making any traction? You can be making progress and moving forward yet feel like you are not accomplishing anything. This happens all because you have taken your eyes off the prize and steered off course by comparing yourself to others. Let me make a confession – I have done it, yes – I have compared myself to others only to lose my focus on what I truly wanted. We can be hard on ourselves up and lose our momentum. Don’t get caught in the trap!

Admiring others and wanting to create your own design is great but it comes to a rapid halt when you start saying phrases like this, “Oh, but look what she is doing.”, “I will never be able to be that successful.”, or even “She doesn’t have kids, so she has the time.” Do not fool yourself for one second. Let’s take a look at those phrases:

“Oh, but look at what she is doing.” Look at what she is doing and think about the following because you can learn from it not just envy it. Whatever it is she focuses on she got the results for. Continue to focus on what you want and you will get the results you want or better – your way. You are also looking at one moment in time but not the sleepless nights and roadblocks or obstacles that she has faced. You may not want all the other things that came with the package.
“I will never be able to be that successful.” First of all, define what success means to you. Success has many different meanings – money, happiness, having a family, memories, and personal fulfillment. You can be a success where you are by making the choice to be successful. What you believe, you will ultimately receive!
“She doesn’t have kids, so she has the time.” Kids or no kids – it comes down to basic time management and making your business have priority time and your family having priority time. There are many mompreneurs out in the world making a difference. There are many mothers who are authors who get up early to write their books – one paragraph at a time. Drop the excuses – you can do it! Your Way!

The timing of your success and accomplishments always show up at the right time for you. There is a reason you defined success may not have arrived yet.

You have not clearly defined what success means to you so you do not know what it will look like for you. You could be already there.
The Universe or God is still aligning people, meetings, lessons, and circumstances to make everything fall into place.
You have not taken any action yet toward your goals and dreams. They are not going to fall into your lap or arrive in your mailbox. As the saying goes, you cannot win a lottery, if you do not buy a ticket.” YOU need to take action.

I challenge you to make a list of what you have accomplished in the past 60 days. Focus on your end game and what you desire for you because it is only available for you. Focus – has been one of the greatest keys to my success! The power of focus will change everything! Listen to what you are saying – “Do you really what the package or the moment?” You are going to shine – keep the momentum and stay on track. The comparison trap is nothing but an accident waiting to happen. Keep your eyes on the road ahead!

The Mindset that Will Cost You Your Dreams

Are You Getting Caught in the Comparison Trap?