No matter how successful you are or how driven you are, resistance to change is sure to show up. It shows up in the form of anxiety, self-doubt, and guilt. In order to accomplish what you want, you need to step out of your comfort zone but as soon as you do this, your mind starts playing games with you. It wants to keep you safe and protect you from any risks. This mindset chatter is the biggest obstacle to your success because it allows you to get in your own way. You end up reverting to patterns you have had in the past that no longer serve you.

The fear and resistance can paralyze you and stop you from taking any action at all. The resistance you face can prevent you from asking for a raise or the overdue promotion. Resistance can prevent you from making the sacrifices required in order to get control of your health and wellness. The only one who could put this resistance on and set the brakes is you.  The person who can make the change is also you. If you want to achieve things that you never thought possible, you must start taking action steps that will help get you to where you want to be.

Pay attention to your self-talk.  Listen to the words that you are saying. Are they positive or negative? Do you hear yourself saying “I wish I was more confident” or “I wish I could handle difficult conversations better?” Instead of wishing, why don’t you be more confident or choose to handle difficult conversations better? Everything starts with a choice.

Drop the words “can’t” and “try” from your vocabulary. When people say “can’t”, they often mean I don’t want to and when they say “try” they often mean I don’t think I can do it. You want to start using empowering language.

Zero in on the Barriers You Tell Yourself. What are the barriers to achieving what you want? One of the most powerful things you can do is ask questions and gain different perspectives of a single situation. Take your emotions out of the equation and take a serious look at the facts. Do you have the information you need? These real or perceived barriers can be overcome when you get more information. When you get more information, you can ask better questions and get better answers.

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”
― Winston S. Churchill

Don’t let the fear of failure be the one thing that holds you back. Failure is actually your greatest teacher. It allows you to ask the next questions: What worked? What didn’t work? What can I do differently? It is by asking questions that you stimulate your brain to focus on solutions. Turn your challenges into opportunities to get creative and innovative.

Improve your skills. Improving your skills is one of the most under estimated keys to success. People often think if they read one book or attend one seminar that they should be achieving success; however, if you don’t apply what you learned and put it into action the reading and attending were a waste of valuable time. By improving your skills, you build confidence and competence in your abilities. You can improve your skills through the work that you do, volunteering, or trying new things.

Set goals. By just taking time to write down your goals, you become more focused on what you want and look for opportunities to support what you want to achieve. Don’t let the size of the goal overwhelm you. Break the goal into smaller pieces whether it be quarterly, monthly, weekly, or daily tasks. You may choose to delegate some of the work required. You might be telling yourself there’s so much to get done and I just don’t know where to start. Have no fear -start by blocking off time in your calendar to work on the task at hand. When you focus your time and attention, you will intentionally do the work you need to do. You are making a commitment to yourself. The more manageable the task, the greater likelihood you will achieve it.

Take bold action and celebrate your success. One of the things that allow you to get in your own way is waiting for someone to come and save you or hand success take you on a silver platter. Don’t wait for others to give you success. Success comes from you and the work that you put in. Positive thinking alone does not accomplish what you need to do; it comes from taking some serious bold action toward what you say you want to do. Celebrate every success along the way. These mini celebrations will help create a momentum that will drive you forward and help you bust through your fears and get out of your own way.

Resistance appears just when you get close to accomplishing a major milestone. This resistance serves you to reinforce the importance of why you set out to accomplish what you want to accomplish. Why is what you’re doing so important? What is the impact it will make? And what is the risk of you not following through? How many lives including your own will be affected?

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
― Peter F. Drucker

You are meant to do great things. Leverage the anxiety, self-doubt, and guilt to your advantage by changing your self-talk, staying focused on your priorities and getting the facts, improving your skills, setting goals, and taking bold action steps that truly make you an unstoppable force in the world.

What are you resisting right now? How are you getting your own way? And what actions are you going to do take to change it?

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. She is a contributing writer for Diversity Magazine and Fabulous at 50 magazine. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. www.debrakasowski.com