Life is great until someone or something throws a monkey wrench into your plans. It is how we respond to situations that helps us deal with every situation that comes our way in the future. Change is a part of life yet many people find that change suffocates them. They feel that they lack of control and sometimes become upset, frustrated, or even angry.The reason they develop all these feelings is not because of change, but more so because they don’t want to be told what to do or that they must change.

The funny thing is, we all fear change in one form or another. Some people may have the fear of moving, some people may have the fear taking a new class, or even have the fear of eating in a restaurant alone. Depending on how you view change, change can mean many things. I like to see change as a big present with many little boxes inside. You do not know what you are going to get but there are many possibilities and opportunities to unwrap. You might not always like what you get but you must be gracious and accept what has been given to you. Your gift now belongs to you and you may do what you wish with it. You have a choice. Use it wisely. Change allows growth and reflection of who you once were and who you have yet to become.

I recently finished reading the book “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Spencer Johnson.  I enjoyed it so much that I shared it with my kids. They loved analogy used to prepare for change. This book is a quick read, emphasizing many points about anticipating change, moving with change, and yes, enjoying change. Change is something you need to be ready for. You need to embrace it and enjoy the process.

The world continues to turn whether you are ready or not. If you are not ready, you run the risk of being left behind because of what is here today may not be here tomorrow. Treasure the gift of change.

Here are three easy ways to deal with change:

1. Choose Your Response- How you choose to view change with determine how you react to it. Your reaction affects your experience.
2. Focus on What You Can Control – Keep perspective on the things that you do have control of. When you focus on what you can do rather than what you can’t do, you can persevere and succeed.
3. Keep a Positive Outlook – Look for the opportunities and lessons to be learned. The attitude you choose to have will determine your thoughts, feelings, and ultimately your behaviours or actions. Stay optimistic about the outcome you wish to have as the result of the change. Remember your gift can be bigger and better than you ever imagined.

Above all,

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” -Mahatma Gandhi.

I would love to know how you deal with change. Do you have a quote or story to tell us about change? Please share it!

It always amazes me how fear can interfere with what we want to do. A friend of mine called me today and said, “Debra, I did it, but I was scared and uncomfortable.” I asked her what she was afraid of and she said she was afraid the answer to her ask would be “No”. Guess what? The answer would still be no if you never asked for what you wanted. What if the answer was “Yes!” We tend get uncomfortable doing things we are not use to. I like to think of the discomfort as stretching into the skin you were meant to be in. It is when we get too comfortable that we must continously strive to stretch ourselves out of that comfort zone.

Have you ever noticed that when you ask for what you want, you get excited and nervous at the same time?  The excitement and nervousness can be put to great use in your learning curve. Take that enthusiasm and savor the moment. What does it feel like to see yourself hearing the “Yes”? Music to your ears I bet!

You can choose to hang onto your fears and your doubts or you can summon up the courage to go after what you really want in life. Too often, we catch ourselves looking for the approval from others instead of from ourselves. Fear and doubt may even numb you from taking action. When people try to talk you out of your dreams, they do so because of their own fears and doubts. It does not necessarily mean they do not believe you will succeed. It is important for you to believe in your dreams and for you to continue to take steps toward reaching your goals even if they are small ones. You will never be able to realize the full impact of the small steps you take until you reach your big destination.

Lead a fearless life!

 

From the time we were little, we were taught to share.Why do we not share our hopes and dreams with those closest to us? Are you afraid that they will laugh or talk you out of it? Focus on your vision. It belongs to you. If you believe you can achieve it, it does not matter what others say, you will do it. With the individuals I talk to, it could be further from the truth. When others are aware of your goals, they are better able to support and encourage you and you are better able to support and encourage them as well. They may recommend people that you need to connect with to reach your goals. Tell them what your needs are. Remember that each person knows at least 250 people and those 250 people know another 250 people. Share your dreams and widen your circle of influence.

Find an accountability partner or friend to remind you why you chose your goals in the first place and what the end result will look and feel like when times get weak. It is during those times that you need to look fear in the face and remind yourself you can achieve so many things if you believe in yourself, your talents, and your abilities.

Many people talk but few take action. What are you going to do?

Share your comments on how you build your circle of influence and how you share your goals with others.

One of the greatest things holding us back from living to our highest potential is that we question whether or not, we deserve what we desire.There is enough in the world for everyone to go after their dreams and goals. My vision for my life is not the same as yours. It belongs to you and no one else. The big question is, ” Who can tell us that we do not deserve something?” You have a choice. You have the choice to ask for what you want with the intention that you will receive what you ask for.

Know What You Want. Clarity is the key. You must have a clear idea of what you are asking for and why. You will only receive what you want to the extent that you were clear. What does your end result look like? You are the one in control when you ask the question you wish to ask. How will the person you are asking benefit from your “ask”? Think about it. If you created an “ask” based on a win-win relationship, why would the answer be no?
Believe, it is possible and you deserve it. If you do not ask with confidence and conviction, the person you are asking may wonder how important it would be to answer your question. How bad do you want it? You may want to role-play with a colleague or practice in the mirror before you ask. You are meant to be, do , and have great things in your life. You need to BELIEVE IT!


Go out and ask for what you want!

Self-limiting beliefs or negative self-talk are obstacles that you need to put the brakes on. The internal chatter of telling yourself, “No, you do not know enough to do that” or “You never finish a task” needs to be extinguished. You see, skillsets can be learned but a mindset has to be changed. What kind of pep talk would you give your friend in a similar dilemma? The true obstacle to your success is you. You let yourself listen to the chatter and stop gaining the momentum you need to reach your goals. Even worse, you may give up on your goal all together. Do you really want that?

5 Ways to Stop the Internal Chatter and Release the Brakes

1. Acknowledge the negative self-talk but do not entertain it.
2. Stop the thought. When you hear the negative talk, just say “stop”.
3. Reframe each negative thought into a positive thought.
4. Ask yourself. “Is this thought 100% true?”
5. Wear an elastic band on your wrist, give it a snap when you think negatively. A quick reminder to change you thoughts and change your life!

Your thoughts are very powerful. You can make things happen with the right state of mind.