Recently, I sent someone a random act of kindness and they told me that they wished to return it because they felt they did not need the gift. As our conversation continued, the gift appeared to be viewed as a form of “help or desperation” instead of seeing it as a nice gesture or a gift from the heart. I proceeded to explain that it was a gift and a gift is meant to be received. Yet, they struggled with being open to receive due to pride.

Did you know that you actually rob the gift giver of the pleasure of giving the gift? What I have noticed is… people often become uncomfortable with receiving gifts or asking for help. Yes, to be honest with you, my gift had many meanings, perhaps a form of help, but more so to be a pleasant unexpected gesture of kindness.

For many people, the act of receiving a gift, accepting a compliment, or asking for help is seen as a sign of weakness. I see it as a great strength. Here’s a few tips for moving your pride to pleasure:

Gift Giving. Think about the time, thought, and effort a person puts into making, preparing, or purchasing a gift. It was important enough for them to give the gift or random act of kindness. Be gracious and grateful. I am not talking about an engagement ring but random acts of kindness and celebratory gifts that do not have a form of commitment or pay back. Sometimes a person’s pride can get in the way of sharing in the joy.

Compliment Receiving. When some offers you a compliment, honour them by simply saying “Thank You”. By saying, “It was no big deal.”, you are downplaying the act of kindness. After a while, they will not want to compliment you because the joy of giving you the compliment, was zapped away.

Asking for a Hand. Asking for help can be the most powerful thing you can do to strengthen a relationship and improve your circumstance. People like to help people and people like to feel valued. Help needs not to be seen as a hand OUT but a hand UP. People like to see people succeed and know in their hearts that they were a part of something bigger – bigger life and a brighter future.

Be open to receive gifts of kindness, compliments and hands up. It gives the gift giver much joy and fulfillment to know that they had a chance to contribute to your life. You never know when you may need a gift to put a smile on your face. The best thing you can do is acknowledge the gift with a big “THANK YOU“. Enjoy the gift.

Offer 3 random acts of kindness to honour the gift you received. It can be as simple as helping someone cross the street, paying for their meal at the drive thru window, or sending a thank you card. Do not let acts of kindness go unnoticed – pay it forward!

Let us know how you pay it forward!

1. Am I willing to give first and expect nothing in return?
2. Am I willing to ask for what I want?
3. Am I willing to set goals and plan ways to get what I want?
4. Am I willing to give up complaining, making excuses, and blaming others for not getting what I want and take 100% responsibility for my actions?
5. Am I willing to say “no” to an opportunity based on my priorities knowing that bigger and better opportunities may come my way?
6. Am I willing to step out of my comfort zone to experience all life has to offer me?
7. Am I willing to fail in order to learn and move forward?
8. Am I willing to persevere when the going gets tough?
9. Am I willing to embrace change?
10. Am I willing to take action?

When you are willing to go after what you want with conviction, you will inevitably get where you want to go and achieve what you want to achieve. You must be willing to do what it takes. How badly do you want what you say you want? What are some other questions you ask yourself about your “willingness” to participate in this exciting world called life?

People who play the victim game often point fingers at others as the responsible party for their current situation. I do not know how many times I have heard people say these phrases: “I never get a chance to…”, “I am unhappy because they…”, “I cannot have what I want”, or even “I do not have a life.” PLEASE – You do have a life and chances to make a difference in your own life and the lives of others. Remember this echoing phrase, “Life is what you make it.” We all have the same amount of time in a day. All too often the people who say these comments blame others for not getting what they want. Sad thing is…nobody ever knew what they wanted. You are responsible for your chances, happiness, and the excitement in your life. YOU – you cannot blame others for what is in your control. The choice lies within you.

Your happiness depends on you. That’s right. If you are searching outside of yourself for your happiness and saying to yourself, “I will be happy when…. I have the big house or an expensive car.”, you are cheating yourself out of all you have and all you have accomplished to date. If you do not appreciate the present, when you have the things you yearned for, you will not appreciate them either as you will be yearning for something else.

Get Clear on What You Want. You can have what you want, however, many people do not get what they want because they are not always clear on what exactly it is they want or expect from themselves or others. I have seen spouses get upset about the other person fulfilling their needs or holding them back from going after what they want. The only problem is no one clearly expressed what it was they wanted; they made assumptions.

Set Your Priorities. You are the one who knows what is important to you. You need to choose and balance what you want to achieve. Let’s say you are frustrated because you cannot go to the gym for one and a half hours so you do not bother going. Who is suffering? Who is responsible for your health? You are! Going to the gym or for a walk for 30 minutes is still better that you coming home to sit on the couch. Do something toward reaching your goal instead of nothing.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate. You need to let people know what it is you want to achieve. This works both personally and professionally. People want to help others achieve. It makes them feel good to know that they were a contributing factor to your success. If people do not know what you want, how can they help you?

Remember You Have Choices. If you need a babysitter so you can get to the gym, connect with a responsible teenager in your area. Check and see if your gym has babysitting available. Maybe you can even swap babysitting with another mother in your area so you both can benefit. There are options to help you achieve what you want. Many businesses are formed because of the need for options and lifestyle.

Ask for Help. If your options are not working out, do not give up. Ask others for help or referrals to people they know, like, and trust. Tap into the new opportunities and options available.

Compromise and Create Win-Win. There are times when you may have to compromise to get what you want by helping others get what they want. That’s a great deal. Remember you can delegate to others to help you achieve what you want. You do not have to do it all.

Go and Get It. You have to develop a take action mindset.The responsibility for achieving what you want lies in you. Think about how badly you want something. Are you willing to go the distance and do what it takes to get there? If so, go and get it!

Might be a bit of tough love but…stop blaming, complaining, or making excuses about why you have not achieved what you want. The person responsible for your life is the person looking back at you in the mirror every morning and every night. That person is – YOU!

How do you take responsibilty for achieving what you want?