Debra Kasowski, Author at Debra Kasowski

EPISODE 184 – The Fortune is in the Follow-Up

December 10, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did but they will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

Business networking is more than a social outing. It is a chance to prospect and meet your ideal client. Networking events are not for distributing your card to as many people as possible, selling people at your first meeting, setting appointments, or closing the sale. You don’t need to meet all the people in the room. You need to meet one to three meaningful connection that could change your business.

Networking events are a great way to make connections and start meaningful conversations. If you are doing the majority of the talking, you are not listening. Listen carefully to what is said in conversation, focus on the person you’re speaking with, and seek to learn and understand what they do. By doing this you make people feel important. The conversation becomes more important than giving out your business card and waiting for them to return the phone call. Even if they do not give you a card, take a blank one or an index card and let them write down their information for you to follow up.

Sadly, many business owners and leaders come home from a networking event with a pile of cards that sit on their desk. Most people do not follow-up post an event. Ultimately, they are leaving money on the table and missing out on a meaningful connection that could transform their leadership or business. Some people say they don’t follow-up because they don’t have enough time or they’re afraid of rejection. You need to set aside time to follow up after each networking event or connection. Write down notes about where and when you met them, what you discussed and what you learned about them. By doing so, you will be able to continue the conversation and solidify your relationship. When your focus is on building a relationship, discovering how you can serve, and add value (and, yes money), you can set aside the concern of being rejected.

According to the online Oxford dictionary, follow-up is “a continuation or repetition of something that has already been started or done.” You do the follow-up to continue to build and nurture relationships without expectation. No one wants to be sold to. As people become more familiar with you, your brand, and your company, they will be more likely to accept your social media connection, reply to your emails, and accept or return your phone calls.

There are so many places where you can meet people who are potentially in need of your service. You can find them at conferences, trade shows, church events, chatting with them during the commute, sporting events, a grocery line up, at the gym, or even at your kids’ activities. Wherever there are people, there is an opportunity. You want to be very clear on who your target market is because your product or service may not be for everyone. By following up, you are able to get to know a person, qualify them, and also determine what their needs may be.

Ideally, you want to follow up within 24 to 48 hours up to a week to stay top of mind. You will earn respect because you did what you said you would do. Promise only what you can deliver.

You may follow-up with a nice to meet you card, text, or email requesting an opportunity to have a phone call or face-to-face meeting.

Continue the conversation by sharing article, podcast, or book related to what you discussed. Ensure it has a value for your reader or listener.

Speak from your heart and be authentic.

Focus on engagement and creating a meaningful conversation without expecting anything in return. You may even consider inviting them to another networking event or function.

Send a gentle reminder if you have not heard back within a few days of doing your follow-up. Don’t take it personally if you have not heard back from them as everyone has something going on in their lives and it does not mean that they are not interested.

Before you meet or speak with your new connection or prospect, you will want to do a little bit of research and reflection. Empathy in business is important in understanding your prospects needs, wants, and desires. Imagine what it would be like to be in their shoes. You want to be able to connect with them on an emotional level. People make decisions based on how they feel in light of the facts.

Remember people want to know how much you care before they want to know how much you know. Listen to their responses. Discover their goals. Learn how you can support them by anticipating their needs. You must build trust; this is where your real power exists. Take time to give, serve, and add value to every conversation. As you become more familiar to people, they are more likely to do business with you and refer you to others because they’ve gotten to know like and trust you. It can take an average of 5 to 12 connections before someone will do business with you. People are turned off by hard selling tactics. When you are passionate about what you do and the results you provide, your prospects are going to want to do business with you because you make the focus on them and not yourself. You want to create the feeling of what it would be like for them to do business with you by asking the right questions for your prospect to get to their own conclusion. A lack of follow-up could be costing you in your business.

Share a positive story of how follow-up has transformed your business or leadership.

We would love to have you subscribe to the Success Secrets newsletter on my website at www.debrakasowski.com where you’re going to get my just release FREE e-book about the 21 Habits High Achievers Kick to Achieve Success. I would love to hear about this podcast has impacted your life. E-mail me at Debra@DebraKasowski.com. Thank you for listening to The Millionaire Woman Show where we talk about leadership, business, and human potential to help you live rich from the inside out. Subscribe to The Millionaire Woman Show. Share it with Your Friends. Give us a 5-star rating!

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today

EPISODE 183 – Difficult Conversation Made Easier

December 4, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“difficult conversations are almost never about getting the facts right. They are about conflicting perceptions, interpretations, and values.”
― Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

Difficult conversations are never easy. These conversations are often hard to talk about and uncomfortable because you never know how another person will react once the conversation gets started. Many people avoid difficult conversations because they do not like conflict. Avoiding conflict and stuffing down your feelings are not healthy responses. If you shift the focus of the conversation from being one of conflict to one of a learning conversation, you may learn something about the situation you did not know and it may shift your perception.

Conversations can get emotionally charged when you are passionate about your subject or you feel attacked. Your feelings matter and their feelings matter. When a person is emotionally charged, they cannot think rationally. They react often from fear rather than respond to situations. For this reason, it is good to allow some time to pass before engaging in a difficult conversation. Defusing anger and frustration allow both parties to think and approach the situation rationally. If emotions are high, chances are no one is listening and important points can be lost. Take some time to do some self-reflection to see how you may have contributed to the situation. I know you are probably saying excuse me? Yes, each party needs to take 100% responsibility for how they have contributed to the conversation. Mistakes can be made – you are human.

One of the first things to realize assumptions and conclusion are made about what was said and felt but was not said and what was actually said. Don’t let your conclusions be your truth. There is your story, their story, and what happened. You can be adamant about what was said or you can come from a place of curiosity and a desire to learn and understand what the person meant to say. What was the impact? Did you take it personally? Acknowledge where a person is coming from, don’t argue. When expressing yourself, use “I feel…” statements, to avoid judgments and accusations. Difficult conversations should not be about blaming others.

Difficult conversations are not about controlling another person’s reaction or forcing them to see your point of view. If you are doing this, you may notice you are not getting the changes you want to see. Change is an inside job. A person must see the need for change in order to think and do things differently. If you anticipate that you may get a reaction, think about how you can prepare for it. Visualize how you can respond to it rather than react to their reaction. Remember, it’s okay to pause the conversation for 5-10 minutes until emotions settle down to reconvene. You do not want to say things you will regret later. It is important to separate people from the problem.

You want to focus on results not the reasons for the conflict. What is the outcome you desire? In my work with Emotional Intelligence, I teach an ‘XYZ’ method. X is “When this happened…” (describe the situation or event), Y is “I felt this…” (express your feelings), and Z is “The result I would like… or “In the future, I would like…” (focus on results/outcomes). This approach removes judgment and accusation and allows you to express yourself versus bottling up your feelings. You are able to communicate your expectations.

Relationships often become stronger when you are both able to express yourselves and your needs. Discuss what matters not who is to blame. Difficult conversations get easier when you are curious and seek to understand what a person is saying and truly listen to what is being said.

What is the lesson you will take away from your last difficult conversation? Will it matter 5-10 years from now? Perceptive is everything.

EPISODE 182 – Find Purpose in Your Pitfalls

November 26, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect. Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.” – Jack Canfield

If you have ever taken action, you know that with every action there can be a positive or negative outcome. Every decision or choice has a risk. To be human is to know that mistakes, shortcomings, failures, and pitfalls will occur. Perfection does not exist. When pitfalls do occur, it is important for you and I find purpose in those pitfalls.

According to an online Dictionary, a pitfall is “a hidden or unsuspected danger or difficulty.” Otherwise, known as the speed bump in the road of life believed to slow us down and on the rare occasion speed things up. To find purpose is to give meaning to the pitfalls. The purpose is to discover what happened and what the cause was to prevent those pitfalls from reoccurring.

Pitfalls can tell you a great deal about yourself, others, and the world around you. If you have the courage to share your pitfalls publicly or with your small circle of friends, you may even inspire someone with your vulnerability. Mistakes and pitfalls give you an opportunity to review your intentions, evaluate your commitments, and adjust your actions to align with your values.

Acknowledge Your Pitfall. The first step in finding purpose in your pitfalls is to acknowledge that a pitfall or mistake happened. We make mistakes every day. With some mistakes, you self-correct so quickly that you do not even notice. It is instinctual. Other mistakes will set you back or repeat themselves until you discover the lesson, make a different decision, and take a different action.

“Own” It! Accept 100% Responsibility. Sometimes when mistakes or pitfalls happen people minimizing them as insignificant, “It really doesn’t affect things.” or “It’s not a big deal.” Some people turn to blame others because they could not have made a mistake. Do you know anyone like this? When you accept responsibility for what is you control, you can turn things around and maintain trust and respect of others. People are gracious towards you when you “own your stuff” because they know there will be a time when they make a mistake and will need the same favour.

Reflect and Ask Powerful Questions. Taking time to reflect brings about self-awareness. Once you are self-aware, there is no turning back! When you have the awareness of what happened and what the cause was you cannot intentionally repeat the same mistake or error. You will need to make a change especially if you are looking for positive results.

What were the steps leading to this pitfall?

What could be done to prevent this pitfall from repeating?

What needs to be adjusted to get the desired result?

Mistakes teach us about integrity. Mistakes and pitfalls often happen when you have overcommitted yourself, avoided conflict, broken promises, failed to listen, or rushed to get something done. They teach us that sometimes we need to slow down and become mindful of our interactions with others, how we feel, and what is going on around us. According to Dr. Carol Dweck’s work, if you have a “growth” mindset, you will see your mistakes as an opportunity to improve. Whereas, if you have a “fixed” mindset, you will see your mistakes as fatal and something that cannot be corrected.

Fail Forward with a Plan. There is no sense in beating yourself up over a pitfall. It is done and often cannot be changed. Focus on what CAN be done. Now that you have determined what may have led to this pitfall, you can make a plan of action to get the outcome you desire. What will be your next steps to set up for one of your greatest comebacks?

Discipline Yourself to Avoid Falling into Old Patterns. When you have determined what led you astray and you have made a plan, you need to become disciplined and eliminate distractions taking you off track. You heard through a trusted source that your team wonders if you care about them as people. You may choose to get up from your desk two times a day to interact with your team members or staff instead of hiding behind your desk. Positive changes do not have to be big to make an impact. In this example, your team members want to know you care. You can demonstrate this by getting to know them as people and not just the people who work for you. Set a notification to ensure you do this otherwise it will be too easy to fall into old habits.

Pitfalls can:

Invite us to make better choices in the future.
Reveal insights into new ideas leading to innovation and creativity.
Show us that a person has changed.
Deepen our knowledge.
Inform our values.
Expose our true feelings.
Keep us humble.
Teach us the value of forgiveness.
Tell us when it is time to move on.

We should take time to celebrate these mistakes and pitfalls for we have the ability to learn and improve – become better versions of ourselves. Your pitfalls are part of your journey of discovery of who you are and the strengths, talents, and abilities that you have to share with others. They provide you with an opportunity to develop mental toughness. You can practice mental toughness; the true strength comes from your resilience.

Please share how your pitfalls have made you mentally stronger.

“When you make a ‘mistake’, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. ‘Mistakes’ are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” -Hugh White

DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has the heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com

EPISODE 181 – Know Yourself Know Your Worth

November 21, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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Over the years, I’ve interviewed thousands of people, most of them women, and I would say that the root of every dysfunction I’ve ever encountered, every problem, has been some sense of a lacking of self-value or of self-worth. – Oprah Winfrey

The results you are getting in your personal and professional life are a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself and treat yourself. The reality you have created is all around you. We all face challenges. Some people move through challenges better than others. The people who are most successful and happiest are the ones who know their worth and value themselves. You need to know your worth before anyone else is going to value it.

We have all had people and circumstances that have come into our lives at one time or another where we have felt wronged by – making ourselves a “victim”. Yet at the same time, we teach others how to treat us. Yes, the statement hurts. If you are not self-aware of the power and control you have, you cannot change anything. When you realize you are responsible for the results and outcomes you create. You can make a choice to do things differently.

I have witnessed too many men and women who are letting other people and outside circumstances determine their worth. They change themselves for others until they no longer recognize themselves. They are criticizing themselves and making themselves lesser than others so other people will feel better about themselves. Dimming your light serves no one. It takes away permission from others to share themselves fully. They start to lessen themselves too. It is time for a change. It is time for you to take back your control and love yourself for what you bring to the table. Know your yourself, know your worth.

There is no room for you to play the victim game! No excuses. No complaining. No blaming others for your results. Take 100% responsibility for your life as it is right now. It is time for you to run your own race.

Your empowerment starts with knowing what to stop doing and start doing.

STOP DOING

Stop looking for someone to discover your self-worth.

Stop chasing a love that isn’t yours.

Stop settling for less than you deserve.

Stop putting yourself down for who you are, your mistakes, and failures.

Stop being afraid to speak up for what you believe in.

Stop making others a priority when they make you their option.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Stop focusing on your weaknesses and what you don’t have.

Stop holding back from offering suggestions or sharing your ideas.

Stop looking to others to make decisions for you.

START DOING

Believe in yourself. You need to have confidence in what you do and the work you deliver.

BE yourself.

Don’t worry about what others will say or do.

Explore your potential to inspire yourself.

Acknowledge your strengths, talents, skills, and abilities. You will attract the right person and opportunity when you focus on your strengths.

Sharing your accomplishments. If your boss or client does not know what you are capable of, how would they know if you may be suited to an opportunity?

Speak impeccably about yourself and others.

Be Kind to Yourself.

Praise Yourself.

Trust yourself – you know more than you give yourself credit for.

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday and be a better version of yourself today.

Be gracious with yourself when things do not go as planned. Look for the lesson you need to take away from mistakes and failures.

Make yourself a priority – take care of your health, eat and sleep well, and keep hydrated.

Compliment yourself – if this means giving yourself a selfie high-five so be it!

Keep your standards, there is no reason to lower them.

Self-reflect on your days – asking yourself how you can improve.

Gather your facts, seek counsel from trusted sources, and make your own decisions.

Knowing yourself and knowing your worth add many bonuses to creating the life you desire. The best part of all is you have the freedom to be you! You can fully express yourself without the fear and worry of what others are thinking. You will be resistant to social pressure and say “no” to what you do not want to do and say “yes” to what you do want to do. You will have clarity, therefore, be a better decision maker. You will have more confidence to express your ideas and ask for what you want and go after it. Getting to know yourself is a lifelong journey as you get exposed to new life experiences you continue to get to know your likes, dislikes, wants, and needs. Knowing yourself and knowing your worth leads to happiness and joy!

“Today is the day to break free from the prison of the person you know yourself to be and step into a self you have yet to know. Will it be comfortable? No, but do it anyway.”

– Debbie Ford

Who do you know who needs to know their worth? Please share this post so others can get to know themselves and know they are worth whatever their heart desires.

Life goals and accomplishments spill over to our professional growth and accomplishments. Our character becomes more defined and our personality comes alive.

EPISODE 180 – Unlock Your Greatness

November 12, 2018 by Debra Kasowski Leave a Comment

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“You were born with potential.
You were born with goodness and trust. You were born with ideals and dreams. You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You are not meant for crawling, so don’t.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly.”
―Rumi

Everyone is born with the potential to be great. There are far too many people living below their potential – believing that greatness is not theirs. They tell themselves, “I am not good enough. I am not smart enough. Why would they think I am great?” Greatness is for everyone. Greatness is NOT a goal. It is a state of mind.

To be great…you need to discover your compelling “why” – your mission and vision…

Why do you do what you do? People are drawn to your “why” more than what you do. Many people can do what you do. It is your story that creates that personal connection with others.

To be great…you need to determine what you stand for – your core values…

What do you value? What is your personal code of honour? What are the deal breakers? These values are the ones that are your guiding light or moral compass in decision-making. You do not need to sacrifice your soul to please others. If you have struggles or conflict in interpersonal relationships, chances are you do not share the same values with the other person. Before you dismiss them, determine if this is true by asking questions to learn the other person’s values.

To be great…you need to examine your beliefs.

What thoughts do you believe to be true…about money, relationships, communication, men and women, success and failure, leading and following, etc. What you believe you will see. Our beliefs determine our actions and therefore our results.

To be great…you need to acknowledge and take responsibility for your gifts.

Not everyone is given the same gifts. We are all unique. You must take responsibility for your gifts. Learn about them. Refine them. Practice them. Adjust them. Own who you are because of them and what you do with those gifts. This “ownership” is what sets you apart from everyone else.

Hiding your gifts serves no one. I held back on sharing my gifts with others for a long time. I would share my gifts but not fully. As I had the belief, “now was not the time”, I would look like I was bragging, others may think I thought I was better than them, or I was being a show-off. What I learned is by holding back or hiding my gifts, I was not being the solution to the problem or puzzle where my gifts were needed, I was not inspiring others to use their gifts and live to their potential, and I was not letting people know I had the gifts, to begin with. Because of this, I missed out on opportunities.

The right time to share your gifts is NOW.

To be great…you need to focus on the power of the journey and not the destination.

There are many people who focus on the destination as their end goal of success. Once they get to the destination, they feel emotionally let down and say, “It this all there is.” Yet with all goals, you need to overcome your greatest challenges and sometimes travel the road less traveled. You defy the odds. It is the person you become along the journey that makes you great. You have faced adversity, obstacles, and challenges – and survived.

To be great…you need to learn to be decisive.

The Latin word for “decide” is “decidare” meaning “to cut off all possibilities.” Once you make a decision, you can create a plan and make your choice a reality. The more decisions you make, the more actions you take. The more actions you take, the more confidence you will have in yourself to take more action.

With every decision, there is an option…this or that…or many. Narrow down your options, make the pros and cons lists, and trust your gut. Every decision has more questions and decisions that can be made. With every decision, ask yourself, “Am I getting closer or moving away from where I want to go?”

To be great…you need to establish success habits.

Your routines are built from habits. What current habits serve you? What habits are not serving you? What habits do you need to change? What habits do you need to start? Habits can take anywhere from 21-66 days to develop and stick. Be patient with yourself and stay determined.

To be great…you need to develop an attitude of gratitude.

When you learn to be grateful for what you have and the opportunities you have been given, the more you will be given to be grateful for. Start with writing out 3 things you are grateful for every day.

To be great…you need to be gracious and accepting of yourself.

As humans, we are not perfect. Many people have a hard time accepting themselves because they fall short of the vision, they have for themselves. With their disappointment, they may stop taking action or give up on their dream and goals altogether. Do not let past events define you. Your current situation is NOT who you are. Do not let mistakes and failures define you. Learn from them. What can you do differently the next time?

“I was never afraid of failure; for I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest.” ―John Keats

Things do not always go the way we want them to – you need to continue to BELIEVE that possibilities exist and in your VALUE. Now is always too soon to quit! Keep working at it – go after whatever it is you are drawn to until you achieve it. For every problem has a solution. There is a key that opens the door. You just need to find it. Stay focused on your end goal, be open to possibilities, put in the effort, and expect to find success.

Start unlocking your greatness today!