Debra Kasowski

3 Reasons to Challenge the Resistors of Change

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Change is a constant; it represents progress and forward momentum. Change keeps ideas fresh, innovative and creative. Change brings life.

One of the most challenging things I’ve faced as a positive change agent is people who are resistant to change. There are individuals who challenge any new idea or concept. In my work with Appreciative Inquiry, I have noticed that people with positive mindset will look forward to positive change, whereas those with a negative mindset or doubtful mindset will look for all the reasons why something won’t work. The latter group of individuals can’t seem to try something new or accept an approach unless they test it themselves. A common statement from these individuals is, “It is all great in theory.” This statement used to bother me; however, I have learned that this is one person’s perspective. It is important for me to understand the merits of their perspective and seeing how I may challenge their assumptions that may be preventing them from moving forward with positive change.

Here are three reasons why it’s important to challenge those resisters:

  1. People often get attached to the old way of doing things. Some people are threatened by new approaches and are concerned about how this change may affect them.   As the facilitator of positive change, it is important for you to help these individuals acknowledge the old ways of doing things and also demonstrate how they can implement new ways which can improve their current reality.

 

  1. Some people need to see proof. Kendra Cherry, a psychology expert, wrote a fantastic article on about.com entitled “What is a Theory?” that challenges the statement “It is all great in theory.” She states, “A theory is a based upon a hypothesis and backed by evidence. A theory presents a concept or idea that is testable. In science, a theory is not merely a guess. A theory is a fact-based framework for describing a phenomenon. In psychology, theories are used to provide a model for understanding human thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.” Imagine if Thomas Edison stopped testing his theory of the light bulb; where would we be today? Theories need to be repeatedly tested in order to be considered principles to help explain the results or outcomes achieved.

Perhaps, it is the microwave mentality; people don’t believe in the concept unless they see immediate proof. However, some outcomes may be quick wins, whereas other outcomes need to develop over time. Actions need to be taken to implement the ideas brought forward.

Appreciative Inquiry is a road map of an ongoing process supporting positive change. This concept or approach has been tested and proven for over 30 years and has helped improve the businesses and organizations globally.

  1. Some people think they have tried something similar before and it will not work. It is important to emphasize that just because you have tried something similar before does not mean it will not work. You are not the same person you were when the last attempt was. Chances are the ideas were shelved from the last attempt. Let’s say the attempt was a year ago. The people of the organization and where the organization is, is not the same as a year ago. It is my hope that the people were developing themselves both personally and professionally. They have more confidence and competence because they have faced conflict, gained new knowledge, and lived through new experiences. The people or the culture of the organization may have changed too. The ideas presented way back when may have been before there time, therefore, it is definitely worth trying again. Who knows – it might be you who facilitates a major breakthrough.

What one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned that it is sometimes we just need to trust the process and let the theories unfold into results. There is an element of uncertainty and it is okay. Not everyone is okay with uncertainty, therefore, results are key. Positive change does not occur without positive action steps toward what you really want to see. Even though, you may have to adjust your actions along the way the results that you get may be better than you ever imagined. When you feel yourself resisting, step out of your comfort zone and challenge your resistance to change. It may be your greatest breakthrough.

The Game Changer You Cannot Succeed Without

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Have you ever heard someone say, “I can tell if you will succeed in life within a five-minute conversation.” If you have, you will know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, let me tell you how.

I love talking with people but what really gets my juices flowing is learning about what gets people excited about their lives-what they are passionate about. I am a very curious person by nature and I can pick up on whether person will succeed or not. I will not say they will never succeed because as human beings we are always works in progress; however, until these people make a shift in their habits, thinking, and behavior, they may be working hard but not having their personal breakthroughs.

30831154_lThe game changing quality that you must have in life to succeed is personal accountability. When you have personal accountability, you can change your life.

The first indicator of whether or not you will succeed is your mindset. Are you a victim or a victor? A person with the victim mindset resolves to complaining, blaming, and making excuses for not achieving the results that they want. It is always another person’s fault for their lack of achievement. The victim is usually judgmental, pessimistic, or resentful. They avoid any challenge that may not lead to guaranteed success. A victor, on the other hand, is someone who takes 100% responsibility for their actions and behaviors.  A victor will “own their stuff”; they own their words and also reflect on how they are responsible for their own outcomes. They are open-minded, optimistic, and willing to take on challenges to learn and grow.

The second indicator is whether or not the person takes ownership of their thoughts, feelings, and above all, actions. When I talk about personal ownership, I’m not talking about material goods. I am talking about taking that 100% responsibility for what you say and what you do. You only get in life what you put out into the world. You must be willing to put the effort it takes to get what you want. The same holds true for relationships. If each individual in a relationship is only putting 50% effort then they should expect mediocre outcomes. Whereas, if each individual is giving 100% effort into the relationship, the relationship will flourish. The same holds true for your goals in life, your career, or business. The results you get are dependent on the efforts put in.

The third indicator is a person’s attitude. People often forget that attitude is a choice. A successful person knows that setbacks are temporary. They are moments to pause, reflect, and learn from. Sometimes, you need to course correct when things didn’t go your way. By choosing a positive outlook and a “quitting is not an option” attitude, you will increase your chances of being successful. A positive unstoppable attitude allows you to be open-minded and look for the possibilities and opportunities.

In a 5 minute conversation, you can tell if someone chooses to be a victim or a victor. You can tell if they take responsibility for their actions and behaviors. You can tell if they have an unstoppable mindset and if they are determined to succeed. Take time to learn about another person’s goal and discover ways you can help them become victorious. If you realized that you must make some changes to your life, know that it’s never too late.

Life is like a game. Let personal accountability be your game changer.

Develop Your Flexibility to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

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How successful one is in life depends on how well they master themselves. It is important to have the ability to know who you are objectively and gain an understanding of how others see you. This understanding is not so you change who you are for another person but it is about becoming aware about how your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors influence others.

It is said with age a person becomes stuck in their ways and they are often unaware of their own inflexibility. In today’s world of constant change, there is no room to not be adaptable to circumstance. If you don’t become curious about your changing environment, you may get left behind. By becoming adaptable, you create options for yourself and open your mind to possibility of something better.

It is too easy to fall in to the trap of certainty and remained at the  apron strings of our comfort zone. When someone suggests a new way of doing things or offers you feedback, look at what they shared as information for improvement and consider its merits. The offering may just be what you have been looking for.18885382_m

One of the most valuable ways to develop your flexibility is to challenge your assumptions and re-frame your negative self talk. When new situations arise, our negative self talk tends to take over. The self talk overrides and plant seeds of doubt.

You may hear phrases like:

“What makes you believe you can do that.”

“You can’t do that, you are too _________.”

“You don’t have what it takes.” (money, skills, abilities, knowledge, etc)

“You never finish what you start.”

Instead of listening and agreeing to this negative self-talk, start with rejecting it. You can hear it but it does not mean you have to live it and believe it! Change things up – plant new seeds of hope and belief.

“Yes, I believe I can do that.”

“Yes, I can.”

“I have all I need inside of me.”

“I will finish this. I know I can.”

When you re-frame your negative self talk, you change your own beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors to match which you believe. If you become too rigid in your ways, you close yourself off to different ideas and practices. By being tunneled visioned, you may loose your breakthrough opportunity.

You can train yourself to become more flexible in how you approach new situations. Be open to change and learn about the world around you. Be curious and nonjudgmental. Gather information and adapt to the situation as needed. You need to be able to evaluate and shift your priorities in order to navigate your way to success.

Does a simple change in routine create anger and frustration? How you react or respond to change will differ with each situation you encounter. Improving your flexibility has to do with letting go of the little things. Discover the little things that trigger you. Minimize their impact.Sometimes, it is about learning to detach from the outcomes and becoming adaptable to situations as they arise.

Your emotional intelligence increases by how adaptable and flexible you are to situations. Change can be good – change is progress. Be willing to stretch and try new things. If something does not go as you would like, adjust your plan and make it happen or change the plan.

How Leaders Lead in Times of Uncertainty

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Copyright Syda Productions
Copyright Syda Productions

Uncertainty comes with change and with change comes a bundle of mixed emotions. The entrepreneur waking up at night wondering how they will pay their bills. The leader who is pacing the floor while sweat drips from their brow as they anxiously await the board meeting to make a big announcement. Big announcements, forecasts, and crystal balls do not guarantee specific results. Today more than ever, leaders are faced with the task of leading others when  they are not even sure of the outcomes. They must display confidence and trust in themselves.

“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.”
― Tony Schwartz

Change is a constant and represents progress. Therefore, uncertainty will always exist to a certain percentage. As a leader, I know there are several things a leader can do to lead others during times of uncertainty:

  1. Focus on the strengths of your people and organization. You have people on your team that have all sorts of knowledge, skills, and abilities. Have you tapped into this resource to its full extent? Ask for their recommendations. Ask you customers for their input.
  2. Face Your Fears. It is okay to share your fears with others. It makes you real. You can share how you have overcome your own fears so you can be the leader they need you to be. Minimize the risks or obstacles you may face.
  3. Arm Yourself with the Facts. Share the facts you have collected. Transparent communication is key. When your people know that you have a plan, they will feel more secure and trust that you are doing what is best.
  4. Seek more knowledge. Continue to do your research and gain more information about how decision will impact the people you lead. Seek out assistance from people who know more about a subject than you. Ask for help – most people are willing to help someone especially when they are using their expertise.
  5. Take Action. Action steps and asking the right questions help develop some certainty and allow you to make better decisions. Taking action moves you out of the paralysis mentality and into solution focused leadership where people feel empowered.

The act of taking the lead and being curious about the world around you allows you to embrace and face fears and navigate the unknown. Asking questions stimulates the brain to start thinking of solutions.

In what ways can I make more money to pay the bills?

How can I involve my team in coming up with a solution as I make this big announcement?

Without action, you are guaranteed – a result – an outcome that you may or may not have wanted. You always have a choice. Taking decisive action positions you for greater certainty. Embrace it! Know this – When nothing is 100% sure, anything is possible!

Leaders create a vision of certainty from where they are to where they wish to be.

How do you face or lead in times of uncertainty?

What Positive Thinkers Do that Negative Thinkers Do Not

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“you can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.” Stephen King

People often refer to positive thinkers as the people who wear “rose-coloured glasses” or as people who see a glass as “half-full” versus half-empty. Positive thinkers do have a different approach to life than negative thinkers.

Yes, bad things happen in life.

Positive thinkers are not ignoring life circumstances. They do attempt to explore, learn and understand the life events.

Positive thinkers are:

Open to Change and Opportunity. They are open and willing to trying new things, developing new skills, and gaining new knowledge. They look for the possibilities in new situations or in times of uncertainty. Negative thinkers shut down opportunities out of fear. They are not willing to learn and grow. They are often happy with the status quo even if they do complain about it. They do not want to change.

Better Decision Makers. Positive thinkers look for the strengths, opportunities, and best possible outcomes and strive to meet the outcomes they desire. They are open to trying new things and do not close themselves off from opportunities as negative thinkers do.

Courtesy of Stuart Miles/freedigitalphotos.net
Courtesy of Stuart Miles/freedigitalphotos.netos

Solution-focused. Positive thinkers do not dwell on problems but rather focus on positive solutions. They have the ability to see look at the big picture and brainstorm ways to overcome any challenges that may arise. Negative thinkers focus only on the problem and see change as impossible.

More Resilient. They do not unravel easily. They are in tune with their emotions and see setbacks as a chance to stop, breathe, and re-focus – a set up for success. Negative thinkers see situations as permanent and get stressed out. They tend to over-react to situations and do not see the impact of their outbursts or behavior on others.

Resourceful. When they do not know an answer to a question, they will seek out the information or refer to someone who does have this information. They often have a “quitting is not an option” attitude. Negative thinkers are not willing to look for new ways of doing things because they think everything is going to fail anyway or they say “what’s the point?”

Grateful. Positive thinkers enjoy the little things life has to offer. They look for and are grateful for the positive things in their life. Things as simple as being able to: take a breath, for there are others in the world struggling to breathe; hear the sound of music, for there are many who cannot enjoy someone singing off key; or to smell the aroma of mom’s baked apple pie from the kitchen, for there are others who cannot smell. Negative thinkers complain and blame others for their life circumstances.

Positive thinkers also energize relationships and social interactions. You cannot help but want to be around them. They make you feel good about yourself and life in general. In the workplace, these are people you want on your team. These are people who get things done. They are productive and they are high performers. Negative thinkers are just the opposite.

The best thing about thinking is that you can choose to be a positive thinker or you can choose to be a negative thinker. Making the shift can make you stand out of the crowd. You can get promoted, develop stronger relationships, and be given opportunities a negative thinker would not get. Positive thinkers – DO what negative thinkers are not willing to DO.