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“Most of us have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands resistance.” Steven Pressfield
The thought of change is uncomfortable for many people. Change represents uncertainty. People are concerned about how a change will impact them. There is an underlying fear that the change will be “bad”. Is it natural for you to resist change? Resistance can make perfect sense for some people. They feel resistance is that “gut check” that maybe things are not as good as they appear. It is a matter of perception. The funny thing is…
People tend to resist change even when it is beneficial to them. Why? We are creatures of habit. We will do what makes us feel good and secure rather than what might be best for us. Change requires conscious action which means EFFORT. Is it that you may need to put in some work?
There are many reasons why YOU may be resisting change:
- Lack understanding or lack of clarity about the need for change
- Fear of the unknown
- Fear of Failure or What Others Will Say
- Lack Competence
- Not competent
- Low Trust – Change is not managed competently.
- Temporary – “just a fad”
- Not consulted for your opinion or expertise
- Poor Communication
- Exhaustion – Overworked
- Change in Status Quo
- Change in Routine
- Benefits/rewards are not seen
Are you resisting change right now? Do any of these relate to you?
If you are helping people overcome resistance to change, do the following:
- Be Clear on What Change is Taking Place
- Align with Your Goals
- Determine the Impact of the Change and Resisting the Change
- Set a Communication Strategy – it is better to overcommunicate versus under communicate
- Provide Effective Training (if required)
- Identify and Share Your Support Structure or Resources
- Measure and Adjust as You Move Through Change
Change is important and a necessary part of life. It represents progress and growth. Change brings new possibilities and problems.
The opposite of “change” is acceptance. The beauty of life is that it is unpredictable and uncertain. One thing I know for sure is that everything is temporary and nothing is permanent. Everything changes. We need to learn to accept things as they happen and only focus on what is in our control. Do not judge. As soon as you start to judge, you lose out on opportunity.
Acceptance does not mean you are conforming and saying, “It is what it is.” Or settling for average. You can choose to let go of things that are not in your control. There are many times in our lives we think things should be a certain way and they are not. You can fail to accept reality or you can fight it. You cannot change situations by fighting them.
Carl Jung once said, “What you resist, persists.”
Several years ago, I remember my boss telling me I needed to get more experience with managing people. It was not about building and nurturing relationships as it was dealing with and managing conflict. No sooner that the day after I inked a SMART goal did conflict come fast and furious – 3 incidents in fact. They were uncomfortable I wanted to avoid them. However, I knew I needed to face them head on, otherwise, the heat of the emotions would get high. Sometimes you may not understand change, ask questions and be curious about the impact on you, your situation, or environment. Learn what you can about the emotions involved, Any resistance faced with help you understand why some people get further ahead than others, Stubbornness can cause missed opportunities!
What are you resisting in your life right now?
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DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free e-book download today! www.debrakasowski.com
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