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“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” -Dale Carnegie
Networking and taking the time to get to know others is a powerful way in order to expand your network and get to know people. The only drawback is some people tend to want people to see them as the most interesting person in the room instead of being interested in others. In my favourite communication book, Just Listen by Dr. Mark Goulston, he talks about the “interesting” jackass, you may be able to relate based on conversations that you have had. These are the people who try so hard to be interesting and demonstrate how great they are but they fail to take interest in who you are. This can be frustrating and make you want to avoid these people altogether. Being interesting is important, however, there is a craft in order to share just how interesting you are.
If you want to leave a good impression with the people that you interact with, you want to take some time to take interest in the people you talk to. You do not need to have all eyes on you. This action often comes across as being insecure. When you start taking interest in others, they will start taking more interest in you. When taking interest in others, be fully present and actively listen to what they’re saying. Often in conversation people are thinking about what their responses instead of listening fully to what is being said. People tend to repel from people who talk about themselves all the time and how they’re better than everyone else. Instead of responding with your experience, ask probing questions to learn more about what a person who shared with you or summarize what you just heard to acknowledge that you been listening.
By asking questions, you are demonstrating that you want to learn more or gain an understanding of where a person is coming from. You may overcome shyness by asking questions and learning about others. This demonstrates a genuine interest in others. Here are several ways in which you can demonstrate a true interest in another person:
- Discover ways you can help another person. Learn about the person you’re speaking with and discover their greatest challenge need, or want. Find a way to help them achieve it. They will be forever grateful.
Be a connector. Connect like-minded people together. When you meet people you may discover that someone in your network needs to meet the person you have just met. Send a virtual introduction or arrange a time where you can introduce them in person.- Be memorable. You become memorable because of your listening skills and your interest in others. By taking a genuine interest in others, you make people feel like they’re the most valuable person in the room and as you are speaking to them that they are.
Once you take time and interest in other people, they will also want to discover more about you. This is when you can share more about yourself. Remember the conversation and dialogue are very much like a dance. It’s not a competition to share how your experience is the same or better than theirs. The most powerful approach to being interested in others is to be nonjudgmental and come from a place of curiosity in which you would like to learn more.
Here are ways that you can become more interesting to others when it comes to your turn to share your knowledge, skills, abilities, and experiences:
- Explore the world around you by going on adventures and travelling. I have learned that as we open ourselves up to the world we realize that we are a lot more the same than different. You also learn that everyone is driven by different values and traditions.
- Have the courage to do new things and to step outside your comfort zone.
- Read a new book once a month and share what you have learned with others.
- Take up a new hobby.
- Listen to music.
- Try new foods or cultural activities.
- Volunteer or support a cause.
Don’t think you are the only person out there expanding their life. When you come across as a “know it all” you can be send the wrong message. Be intentional with taking a keen interest in others. If you have a story to share that is relevant to an issue or concern they have been struggling with summarizing what you have heard and then offer to share a story or experience with others versus jumping in and telling it to them. No one likes to be told – they like being asked. Engage others in the conversation by using questions to learn more.
People will be more interested in you as you become more interested in them. It is all about how you make others feel. Make them feel like they are the most important person in the room. In that moment in which, you are in conversation with them they are.
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DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Time: 9:43 min
Keywords:
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