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Resistance shows up in many ways. Carl Jung, a Swiss psychologist, has been credited for the phrase “What you resist persists”. Have you ever noticed that no matter how much you avoid, hide from, or pretends something doesn’t exist a continuously shows up in your life in some form or another? This resistance is showing up because you are not accepting what is– current reality. Resistance shows up as suffering. You may become angry or resentful because you want something different than what you currently have. This frustration occurs not because of the experience you have had; it is about how you labeled the story of that experience.
Whatever you are resisting means you are opposing or against it from occurring. The things that we really need or the lessons we need to learn in our lives are usually what we are resisting. An area in my life I face with resistance when it comes to physical activity is yoga. Now many of my friends tell me that resistance means that I should do more of it. I have attended three classes on three different occasions. I do not enjoy yoga. Each time seems to get better I actually stayed the full class the last time. What I have noticed is that my mind is moving with ideas percolating at any given time and I am challenged with slowing my mind down to match my body’s positioning. I see myself as a person of endurance and that is probably why I enjoy triathlons and running more than I enjoy yoga. With triathlons, I enjoy focusing on the discipline at hand and streamlining the transition to move on to the next activity. Whereas with yoga, I have to focus on slowing down my mental processes to match the movement of my body and I feel that there is a misalignment. I have decided to give yoga another chance and perhaps instead of the class I will create my own environment with the use of video or an app on my phone.
Feelings are transient. They come and go and they only have meaning when we attach to that feeling and give it our attention. The more you focus on what you don’t want, the more you’ll get just that and wonder why it keeps showing up in your life.
I want you to stop for a moment and think about things in your life that you are resisting. This resistance is zapping your spirit and enthusiasm. You will feel discouraged and frustrated. The resistance that you are feeling such as hanging on to old anger or resentment or holding off on a difficult conversation because you hope things will be better or someone will change is holding you back. You may be holding onto comments from family members that still bother you today. Resistance occurs because you believe something different should occur which involves a change to get a different outcome. What really needs to change is not everyone around us but recognizing are blind spots to a situation and doing a self-check on your attitude to change. You can’t change other people; you can change how you respond to a situation instead of reacting to a situation.
There are some people in your life that you may realize are not people you want to regularly hang out with. They are the people who are discouraging you from going after your dreams or putting you down and telling you that you’re not enough. You need to believe in yourself.
What are you resisting now?
What have you been putting off doing?
When you make the decision to play a bigger game, you will notice an increase in resistance. These obstacles are there to test you and challenge you. You have the choice to work through them because on the other side of that obstacle is achievement of your goal or dream. Quit playing the “should have” game. “I should have” done this or “I should have done that…” Quit should having on yourself. Beating yourself up does not help you move through resistance. Most people are unaware of what they are resisting until they stop and take stock of what may be limiting them. Persistence will help you push through any resistance that you are feeling.
Resistance often occurs because of fear. You need to understand where your fear is coming from to truly understand “what you resist persists”. What fear is coming up as resistance?
Are you afraid of:
- Failure?
- Success?
- Rejection?
- Change?
- Uncertainty or the unknown?
- Exposing yourself or being vulnerable?
- Moving to the next level?
What can you start doing to help you move through this resistance is to:
ACKNOWLEDGE and be aware that you are facing resistance.
FEEL feeling that comes up for you as you face resistance.
IDENTIFY where the fear is coming from?
Is your fear that you’re not being consulted? Is your fear due to lack of communication? Is it that you do not understand why change needs to occur? Is it because you need more information?
LET GO of what you are resisting
These fears are not necessarily bad; they are acting as signals for you to go within and reflect on what you’re thinking and your feeling. The universe has a strange way of ensuring that you events continue to occur and until a lesson is learned. Accept where you are in the present moment. It does not mean that you’re going to be in this space for ever especially if this is not where you’d like to be. Start taking action steps and persisting through obstacles focused on what you want to achieve. Hold yourself to high standards it ensure your expectations of yourself are realistic. Your goal and dream are waiting for you!
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DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com
Time: 10:48 min
Keywords: facing resistance, what you resist persists, acknowledge resistance, resistance to change, reason people resist change, playing a bigger game, Carl Jung, move beyond resistance,
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