Have you ever wondered what would have happened if you only asked for what you wanted and needed? Life is kind of like a high school dance from the movies. You sit along the walls of life waiting for opportunity to come and ask you to dance. However, when opportunity arises, you may feel uncomfortable as you reluctantly reach for out toward it. The dance may seem awkward at first but slowly you develop a rhythm. The dance is light and you are swept off your feet. Why? Because others around you have supported you, all because you got up and met opportunity instead of sitting down.
I use this analogy because I have seen time after time, myself included, where you have the opportunity to ask for help and you stop. You stop just as you start to pick up momentum. The music that is playing in your head of chatter starts saying things like this:
“Why would they want to help me?”
“They are so influential and accomplished. I am out of their league.”
“You are just going to make a fool or yourself. They will probably laugh.”
“They do not have the time of day for me.”
Think just for moment. What is the answer right now, without even asking. You are correct if you said a resounding, “NO!” You have not even asked. Your odds improve when you ask for what you want but there is a technique to asking. Sometimes you have to ask more than once and in a different way.
Here is some ways to ask for what you want:
1. ASK the right person or persons. Just like a business meeting, you want the right people at the table at the right time for the right issue at hand. You need to ask a person who already has the knowledge you need or knows someone who can help you.
2. ASK with confidence. You need to be fully present when you ask with no distractions. Believe you can get what you are asking for.
3. ASK knowing the answer is YES. Be prepared and do a little bit of research related to your question. Create win-win scenarios whenever possible. When each person benefits, the likelihood of getting a “YES” is high.
4. ASK with specifics. Be clear and specific in what you ask for. You do not often need to give a rundown of the past 6 months in detail. Time is precious so you need to highlight important facts and ask specifically for what you want. The more clarity to your question, the more likely you will receive a “YES”.
There are 3 details I want you to remember: People may be waiting for you to ask them because of their own fears and internal chatter. People naturally want to help people. Your ask can also lead to more asks, new friendships, joint ventures, and introductions to people you show know.
Your ASK matters. As some of you know, my husband and I spearhead a shoebox campaign each year which stemmed from an item on my bucket list. My Bucket List Item is … an all expense paid trip to Ukraine with my family and parents to deliver shoeboxes to an orphanage in Ukraine so we could see the children faces light up as they opened the boxes. We have sent shoeboxes overseas but I am determined to see the excitement and joy of Christmas in their faces. One day I had a light bulb moment, I made an “ask” to a local school to be a part of my dream. They said, “YES!” We started helping 120 children, 3 years ago and have now we have reached 617. The ripple affect it has had on our colleagues, family, and friends has been tremendous. If I had not asked, the warmth I feel in my heart and the smiles and the tears I saw on the children faces and volunteers would not have come to pass.
How many people are waiting for you to ask? How many people want to be a part of your success story? How much better would the world be if you only made the ASK? Your ASK matters.
I Hope You Dance….
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