“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” Maya Angelou
It is so easy to blame outside circumstances and events for our results. We can look externally to our environment and other people, however, many of our results are dependent on our internal thoughts and mindset. If you have lost hope in your team or your ability to succeed at a goal, you are probably down in the dumps. If you are down in the dumps, chances are you are not taking the actions necessary to get the results you want – it doesn’t matter anymore.
You are not going to get results thinking like that! Shake things up – renew your faith in yourself and take the actions required to get the results you want by changing your attitude about the way things are. You are where you are because of the choices you have made so make different choices and take different actions. It sounds simple and it is!
You can develop a winning unstoppable attitude by:
Create A Compelling Vision. What is your “why”? What are you passionate about? What would make you jump out of bed every day because you are excited to do it? You need to have an emotional connect to your goals.
Reframe Negative Situations. Everything does not go as planned. Setbacks do occur. Do not let a problem let you lose sight of a lesson or opportunity to see the solutions. When we get stuck on the “how”, your brain shuts down. When you brain senses danger, it goes into a flight or fight response and amygdala hijack occurs. However, when you start focusing on possibilities and brainstorming ideas. Another part of your brain called the prefrontal cortex gets stimulated. Ideas start to come more readily. Look for the lessons and possibilities – you may discover that the results you start to get are better than you imagined.
Keep Your Emotions in Check. When life events happen, you can let your imagination run wild with ideas and wonder what others are saying or thinking about you. Your beliefs and assumptions can build up and if you do not recognize that you are emotionally triggered you may release your pent-up emotions in a destructive way – with anger and frustration. You may say things you later regret. Challenge your assumptions, verify and clarify whether what you believe is true. Sometimes it is and sometimes it is not. Save yourself a great deal of embarrassment by asking if your thoughts and beliefs are true before you let your actions lead you astray.
Maintain a Positive Outlook. Do you look at situations as a “glass half full” or a “glass half empty”? My theory is to continue to fill the cup to the brim or even let it overflow. You are in charge. Keep you focus on being grateful and look for the positive in every situation even though at the time the situation is occurring you may be faced with uncertainty or struggle. It is about how you choose to react or respond to a situation.
Focus on Your Strengths. Many people spend way too much time focused on what they are not good at and improving those qualities versus strengthening their strengths. If you refine your skills, you can only get better. If you focus on developing your weaknesses, you may get a little bit better but it will not be as noticeable as when you hone your strengths. What do you believe your top 5 strengths are? What skills and abilities do people compliment you on?
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. Have you ever been caught up in the successes of others? Instead of being happy for them, have you caught yourself feeling jealous or envious and wondering why you are now getting the same success? It took me a few years to realize how unhealthy this behaviour is. By comparing yourself to others, you diminish your own self worth.
Once when I was in conversation with someone I had been doing some work with, she talked about how the person we were working with loved her and could not get enough of her ideas and knowledge. I caught myself comparing and feeling like that person’s shadow thinking no one will see my value they will only see hers. I stopped taking action steps and I hit a slump. Any results I had been getting stopped because I stopped. I am not proud of it as I knew better and I am sure you do too.
When you compare yourself to others, you lose sight of what you bring to the table. You are looking at only one moment in time and chances are you would not trade their whole lives with yours based on a moment in time. Start seeing the value you bring and share your ideas. You bring a different element to the conversation. Everyone does not think and act the same. Realize you are the star of your stage. Be a peak performer by taking the actions you need to be memorable.
Don’t Let Others Fears for You Change Your Destiny. You can sabotage our own success by listening to the fears that others have for you when they say things like, “Do not do that, you will fail.”, “You are better suited for this ________.”, or “You are making a big mistake.” Question those comments and assumptions. Do your own homework. Has the person who is making these comments gone after their goals? If they have not, ask what they are afraid of. It may be the fear that you will succeed beyond measure and they will get left behind. Surround yourself with people who support, encourage, and challenge you to become a better version of yourself each day.
Know that setbacks are temporary. Setbacks are tough. They can knock the wind out of our sails. However, they never last. You always have a choice to change your mind about a situation, you can take different actions, or can choose to do nothing which is also a choice. No matter what, change happens and life moves forward whether you want it to or not. Set yourself up for success by looking for the learning opportunity in the setbacks. You may need to make one simple change to get the results you are looking for. Sometimes it takes slowing the process down to get ahead.
Believe what you do matters. One of the biggest barriers to a person’s success is their beliefs. If you believe you do not have what it takes to succeed, guess what? You probably will not succeed. If you believe your efforts do not make a difference, guess what? They will not. You need to believe what you do makes a difference to stay motivated during tough times. By having the emotional connection and knowing what you do makes a difference, you will develop an unstoppable winning attitude.
How do you develop a winning attitude?
“A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.” Wade Boggs
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DEBRA KASOWSKI, BScN CEC is an award-winning best-selling author, transformational speaker, blogger, and Certified Executive Coach. She has a heart of a teacher and is certified in Appreciative Inquiry and Emotional Intelligence. Her writing has been published in a variety of print and online magazines. Debra Kasowski International helps executives, entrepreneurs, and organizations boost their productivity, performance, and profits. It all starts with people and passion. Sign up the Success Secrets Newsletter and get your free mp3 download today! www.debrakasowski.com