Develop Your Flexibility to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

How successful one is in life depends on how well they master themselves. It is important to have the ability to know who you are objectively and gain an understanding of how others see you. This understanding is not so you change who you are for another person but it is about becoming aware about how your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors influence others.

It is said with age a person becomes stuck in their ways and they are often unaware of their own inflexibility. In today’s world of constant change, there is no room to not be adaptable to circumstance. If you don’t become curious about your changing environment, you may get left behind. By becoming adaptable, you create options for yourself and open your mind to possibility of something better.

It is too easy to fall in to the trap of certainty and remained at the  apron strings of our comfort zone. When someone suggests a new way of doing things or offers you feedback, look at what they shared as information for improvement and consider its merits. The offering may just be what you have been looking for.18885382_m

One of the most valuable ways to develop your flexibility is to challenge your assumptions and re-frame your negative self talk. When new situations arise, our negative self talk tends to take over. The self talk overrides and plant seeds of doubt.

You may hear phrases like:

“What makes you believe you can do that.”

“You can’t do that, you are too _________.”

“You don’t have what it takes.” (money, skills, abilities, knowledge, etc)

“You never finish what you start.”

Instead of listening and agreeing to this negative self-talk, start with rejecting it. You can hear it but it does not mean you have to live it and believe it! Change things up – plant new seeds of hope and belief.

“Yes, I believe I can do that.”

“Yes, I can.”

“I have all I need inside of me.”

“I will finish this. I know I can.”

When you re-frame your negative self talk, you change your own beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors to match which you believe. If you become too rigid in your ways, you close yourself off to different ideas and practices. By being tunneled visioned, you may loose your breakthrough opportunity.

You can train yourself to become more flexible in how you approach new situations. Be open to change and learn about the world around you. Be curious and nonjudgmental. Gather information and adapt to the situation as needed. You need to be able to evaluate and shift your priorities in order to navigate your way to success.

Does a simple change in routine create anger and frustration? How you react or respond to change will differ with each situation you encounter. Improving your flexibility has to do with letting go of the little things. Discover the little things that trigger you. Minimize their impact.Sometimes, it is about learning to detach from the outcomes and becoming adaptable to situations as they arise.

Your emotional intelligence increases by how adaptable and flexible you are to situations. Change can be good – change is progress. Be willing to stretch and try new things. If something does not go as you would like, adjust your plan and make it happen or change the plan.

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