Some people create their own drama. They need to be a part of the gossip and live their reality like a soap opera. Hopefully the gossip they are a part of is good gossip – spreading how great they think people are. If not, they are coming from a place of judgment and their assumptions and perception may be totally off base.
Whereas for others, life chaos comes from taking on too much or over-scheduling themselves. There can be several reasons for this:
- You do not want to miss out on being a part of some big. (You like to be where the action is.)
- You tell yourself just one more thing – it can’t hurt. (I can handle it.)
- I do not want to be seen as not contributing. (You need to ensure people see you as helping out; otherwise, you may feel a tad bit guilty.)
- If I do not help, no one else will. (Martyr – however – there are times I am sure you could be right – no one else will help. That’s when you are a superhero!)
- I can’t say no – what will they say. (No boundaries)
Some of the symptoms of chaos are:
- a cluttered desk or messy house
- finances are a disarray – you do not know how much money is coming or going
- missing deadlines
- losing things
- getting sick more often
- feeling weighed down and overwhelmed
- tension in your relationships
- forgetting to make phone calls or following through on your commitments
What happens when you drop the ball? Guilt, shame, blame…more chaos!
When the world feels like you are on merry-go-round, it is time to stop! Get off! Don’t let chaos become a standard part of your life. Thriving on chaos is not sustainable nor it is healthy.
You do have a choice. A choice to say “no” when you need to, be a part of the action that takes you closer to your goals, and to make self-care a priority.
When you start making a choice and chaos comes like a whirlwind, you can draw on on your resiliency because you are strong, self-assured, and resilient. You can thrive in chaos – you may even get an adrenaline rush but can remain quite level headed to think clearly and make better decisions.
Thriving in chaos is much different than thriving on chaos. Have you ever watched someone who is calm and collected in a crisis situation? As a business owner or an executive, you have to make some very important decisions and sometimes these decisions are very timely. You need to be able to make decisions as quick as an air traffic controller. You need to be able to lead the people who look to for vision and guidance.
In emotional intelligence, people who thrive in chaos would be considered to have impulse control, assertiveness, and emotional awareness. They work toward keeping people around them calm regardless of the environment. Nothing can get accomplished when your people are in a state of panic. It is these situations were good leaders are separated from great leaders.
Which person are you? Do you thrive on chaos (creating your own) or thrive in chaos?